i just lost my phone cuz i dropped it in a pocket of a pooltable...

y?? cuz im totally wasted and i was bored at the moment...


my Q: whaz the stupidest thing u ever did cuz u were drunk or under influence of smth?? i think this was the baddest thing i ever did in my entire life cuz i was drunk...

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I SUCK MONKEYS IN HELL

I've told this story before but it's pretty cool so here it is again.

We go back 2 years to a certain payday and as is customary me and the guys from work left work and straight into the pub next door, few pints later we arrive in Bournemouth town centre and go up to my flat and get changed before heading out again. They'd just started selling absinth in Bournemouth at this point, so off we go to find out what the fuss is about (sampling a drink per-pub on the way). By the time we got the the bar that sold the Absinth we were steamed, a couple of Absinth's later I wasn't a pretty sight. Fast forward 20 minutes and I'm getting ready for my Bournemouth Gardens Stream jumping Record Attempt, at the widest point of the stream. Fast forward another 2 minutes, I'm laying on the far side with my leg bone poking out of my kneecap. I made it over but my left leg came down on the corner of the the concrete bank. One of my mate's is there poking my bone with his finger giggling "I'm touching your leg bone mate" and I'm marvelling at the sight of my own fat and muscle and the fact I'm oddly in no pain whatsoever.

So off to Bournemouth hospital, where my mate happened to once work as a porter so we get seen pretty quick. 40 mins later I'm all stiched up and back in Bournemouth and it's only about 9pm! So into the local cheese club we go.

Next day my leg had swelled to about double the size of usual and I'm in the most pain I've ever experienced.

But the best bit, I've got a lovely scar to show for it

the end of stampede party at the palace... gatecrasher 2.0
of course i'm going to get right messed...
2 caps of E later... i am sitting down feeling great, when i lost all sensation in my legs... "oh fuck, my legs just ran away" i thought... i spent the rest of the night wandering around looking for my legs

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Tony Morello Dot Com
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The Drunken Monkey Podcast
The Mixdown Podcast presented by Tony Morello

I walked through one of those parking lot arms, broke the mofo clear off.

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Wave is to particle as zero is to one as bagpipes are to modem noises.

quote:

Originally posted by DJ_Shockwav the end of stampede party at the palace... gatecrasher 2.0 of course i'm going to get right messed... 2 caps of E later... i am sitting down feeling great, when i lost all sensation in my legs... "oh fuck, my legs just ran away" i thought... i spent the rest of the night wandering around looking for my legs

OH THAT WAS FUNNY!

this is the conversation we had
shockwav taps me on the shoulder and whispers in my ear
J, Ive lost my legs, go look for em
Tony, your legs are right here *me hits his legs*
look of confusion comes over tony
how did they get here?
they were always there
oh..

2 minutes later
j, my legs went missing again
Dude, stand up, your damn legs are right there!
Hey Tony, your legs are dancing with that hot chick over there, go join her!

Sadly we didnt, and he left close to 1am(probly 3 hours later than he should have!)


my worst thing..well..My 20th birthday, I got right hammered, like 36 drinks, and I was sooo drunk out of my head(BLAME IT ON TONY!) and there was this chick(really hot) who bought be a drink @ the begining of the night, but she had some guy w/ her, well he wasnt there, so my drunk ass goes over to her and says

'Its too bad you are taken, cuz you are fuckin hot'

now, that is completly not my personality at all, but what does she do? She walks a circle around me, dragging her hand on my stomach the whole way around...and says

'Who says im taken' Then she stare me in the eye and walks to the dance floor, what do I do? NOTHING..my drunk ass stood there doing nothing.

3 days later my friends were @ the same club, and she was there looking for me, I couldnt get in that night(line was too long) so yeah..I had a hottie wanting some spot action, and I was too drunk to know it!

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Retired TA.

this past summer, i was hanging out with a bunch of ppl on the beach on some island in croatia.....some dood drank a whole bottle of Vodka and passed out, we thought he was dead, so we called an ambulance, they took him to a hospital and pumped his stomach....(he survived)

that same night the rest of us drank with some german ppl, and i was mass drunk...i got down into my boxers and went swimming only to fall down face down in the water and take a drink *arrgghh, salt water*...
well anyways i get out and i take my boxers off off to the side of everyone, so i'm naked and put on the rest of my clothes, afterwards trying to run on the beach holding my boxers in the air trying to dry them....

then little later, when the alcohol totally hits me, i can barely speak, making the people think i'm lying about actually living in the US cos i'm slurring my english worse than the locals speak it...(i speak croatian) then I talk to some really hot girl (she'd still be hot w/o the alcohol), get her phone number and get this---> i write it in a BIG red permanent marker on both sides of my WHOLE LEG....well...i stumbled back to the camper, and crashed in a sleeper in front of it....

took a lot of soap and water, then salt water to wash off the number, i felt soooooo stupid afterwards.......

i've never been as drunk ever as i have that night....and i promised myself i'd never drink that much again...(i drank half a litre of home made brandy i bought off some dude selling that stuff on the side of the street, who knows what he *added* to the brandy...)

>JM<

lol Gekhous's story is the funniest, and the dumbest.

well... this one time i tried to flag down buses in the emergancy lane of the freeway (buses dont stop on the freeway..) whilst holding a beer in one hand and a FOR SALE real estate sign in the other..

oh and at our schoolies week last year me and a mate altered a particular road sign... went from

POLICE ARE NOW TARGETING
DRINK DRIVING

to

POLICE ARE NOW TARGETING
FAT CHICKS

hehe that was classic.. i still have the spray can in my cupboard

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nothing to see here... move along please

quote:

Originally posted by Juricimo ..(i speak croatian)

...and let me add that is one of the most beautiful languages to hear spoken

i love shockwav's story, lol.....

-ABT-

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Peace.

HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!! fucking hell.... *tries to breathe between laughing* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!

i came in real drunk at about 6am, couldnt get on the bed so i slept underneath it. when i woke up at about 10 i was still firly pissed and got stuck

You stupid peeps

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