|
I love station wagons and you should too.
Station wagons. I love 'em. I bet a bunch of you right now are saying to yourselves "OH HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU MAN, STATION WAGONS ARE FOR OLD PEOPLE 'CAUSE THEY'RE SO SLOW AND UGLY AND OH SHIT I FORGOT MY LAUNDRY HOLD ON A MINUTE WHILE I PUT MY WHITES IN THE DRYER OKAY?" Well, I guess I can wait. In the meantime, I'll tell you why station wagons (aka. estate, aka. shooting brake) are awesome.
1) They're cars. I'll use a sweeping generalization here that is pretty much true across the board and flat out tell you that they're safer than any full-size SUV could ever be.
2) Again, cars. Agility is key. You'll be able to avoid accidents with their car-like handling, while ol' Cletus and the gang in their lifted Ford F350 will plow right into Ethel's 1993 Buick Century after she runs a stopsign because she forgot her medication. Old bitch shouldn't be driving anyway.
3) You can load them up with people. Many station wagons still today have "rumble seats," that being, in the "trunk" or "cargo area" or "place where you put your shit" in the car folds over into the floor to create another seat where 2 of your hellspawn (or friends, if they're small) can fit in there facing backward and make faces at disgruntled truck drivers on the 401 as you careen through traffic, undoubtedly drunk and/or high.
4) You don't have to look like a douchebag in the Ikea parking lot as you load a single side table into the back of your station wagon. Imagine if you had a Jeep Commander or Grand Cherokee and you're putting a 2x2 foot box into the cavernous gaping maw of that useless machine and you shut the gate which is akin to the bay doors of a nuclear missile silo somewhere in Utah, and you turn around and oh look there's a row of people with station wagons laughing at your wretched excess. Trail-rated 4x4? More like mall-parking-lot-rated.
5) They look awesome and many have monstrous power and are really quite fast. Examples:
'95-97 Volvo 850 T5-R Wagon. 240bhp out of a turbocharged inline-5 cylinder engine. Capable of 170mph, claimed Volvo back in the day. It seems to have the aerodynamic properties of your house, but hey, it's fast. The Swedish drug-runner car of choice.
Here is a BTCC (British Touring Car Championship) 850 T5-R waving at everybody. Say hi!
Here's the 850's younger, faster brother. The '02+ Volvo V70R. With 300hp, all wheel drive, and a smooth like buttah 6-spd manual gearbox, it's no slouch.
Up next is Audi's venerable RS4 Avant. 380hp, you say? 2.7L twin-turbo V6. Quattro all wheel drive. Fast. Awesome. Red. Different. Okay so not all of them are red.
This is the RS4 Avant's big brother, the new RS6 Avant. It churns out 480hp and also has Quattro all wheel drive. Slow station wagons, hah!
Mercedes-Benz E55 AMG Wagon. 476hp supercharged 5.5L V8.
BMW M5 Touring. HOT. Oh yes this is where it's at, folks. 507hp from a 5.0L V10 engine, 7-spd sequential gearbox, ohh excuse me I have to go and uhhhh umm
It's just so at home on the Nurburgring.
Oh yeah, this one. Ferrari 456GTA Estate. Custom built for some prince in Saudi Arabia, if I recall correctly.
For all you HI-REV TUNAS out there, a Subaru Impreza WRX Wagon. I like these too, but specifically this bug-eyed specimen from '02-03.
So uh yeah, I have an unhealthy love for these, all my friends around here think I'm nuts. Eh.
|
Cale you rock.. wikkid post..
