I am sure most of us would agree that honesty is the best policy, but what if the honesty serves no purpose?
eg: What is the purpose of telling someone that the person they broke up with is now getting married so soon... is there a purpose in being honest? Especially if that person is ready to move on with out this knowledge...?
She_Fitz came up with some fabulous rules to be honest...
1) If it's the truth
2) If it serves a purpose
3) If it's good
IMO, good words to go by...
Not everyone would agree I am sure...
Thoughts...?
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Jan-05-2006 16:19
Time2Burn
TOTA Beacon
Registered: Mar 2001
Location:
Always tell the truth but at times people don't need to know the "whole" truth.
Jan-05-2006 16:27
yankeeBaby
Keepin it real....
Registered: Feb 2005
Location: Upper West Side NYC
Choose your words
There is a way of being honest but also being mindful of the persons feelings if it is something they may not want to hear
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Jan-05-2006 16:57
CAKE
Sex and Tribal
Registered: Nov 2005
Location: At Zone
Well in this occasion, your keeping something from someone not to hurt their feelings but this can also be a double edhed sword cuz on one hand your doing good not to hurt that person but on the other think about how hurt that person is gonna be when they find out that u knew all along and didn't tell them.
There is a way of being honest but also being mindful of the persons feelings if it is something they may not want to hear
I agree with you 100%
It's not constructive, but hurtful if you choose negative words...
Some people would say, "hey, I am just being honest", but there is ways not be to be mean and hurtful and still be honest... IMO
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Jan-05-2006 17:14
Moral Hazard
Oppressing the 99%
Registered: Mar 2005
Location: with the 1%
people claim to want honesty but the truth is that they only want an honest answer if it is comfortable for them to hear. Many times telling someone the truth about a situation or giving them an honest answer can be the worst harm you can do to them.
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quote:
Originally posted by RickyM
you're just a shit version of Moral Hazard. At least he knows what he's talking about.
quote:
Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
lol, i love it when moral feels the need to lay the smack down
Jan-05-2006 17:32
LKD
Omni-peasant
Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Its June 18th, 2005, I'm at the Skybar
honesty has never gotten me any good.
mostly cos my honest reasons seem most absurd to the listener
Registered: Dec 2005
Location: Back in Mississauga... *cries*
All very good points especially about using the right words AND you also have to choose the right moment!
You can look at it another way... sure the truth may be hurtful now and not have any purpose, BUT will it be worse if the truth was found out later, maybe from other people and at bad time. I think keeping the truth from someone who cares and trusts you can be more hurtful than the truth itself.
Jan-05-2006 17:39
Killah Monkey
Brick hoooouse...
Registered: Aug 2005
Location: Toronto
quote:
Originally posted by Moral Hazard
people claim to want honesty but the truth is that they only want an honest answer if it is comfortable for them to hear. Many times telling someone the truth about a situation or giving them an honest answer can be the worst harm you can do to them.
Honesty can always be put in a managable statement to the receiver.
Example: Someone goes too hard on the weekend...
a) tell them that you think they acted like a crackhead ..
or
b) tell them that you could tell by their actions that they overdid it on the weekend ..
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Jan-05-2006 17:42
Yohan
Champion of Deep&Nu-disco
Registered: Jan 2004
Location: Kitchener, Ont, Soviet Canuckistan
I do believe that having a reputation of honesty does good in the long run. At least you're consistent and other people know what to expect from you. They may not like it, but they can respect you for your honesty.
Having said that, there are ways of being honest. Like others have said, choosing words carefully.
But on the other hand, don't blame the other guy for being honest when you ask questions such as, 'am I fat' when you're fat and the other guy tells you honestly that you're fat.
Originally posted by chinamon
not true. i say "ugh"
but i am a tranny.
quote:
Originally posted by kotsy
lol colour me retarded
Jan-05-2006 17:46
LKD
Omni-peasant
Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Its June 18th, 2005, I'm at the Skybar
quote:
Originally posted by EvilTree
But on the other hand, don't blame the other guy for being honest when you ask questions such as, 'am I fat' when you're fat and the other guy tells you honestly that you're fat.
Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Its June 18th, 2005, I'm at the Skybar
quote:
Originally posted by EvilTree
But on the other hand, don't blame the other guy for being honest when you ask questions such as, 'am I fat' when you're fat and the other guy tells you honestly that you're fat.