quote:

Originally posted by Intangible ummmmm..... sure.

While dating someone do you ever fantasize about someone else?

edit - lol thanks for the help

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quote:

Originally posted by Xavier Moriarty While dating someone do you ever fantasize about someone else? edit - lol thanks for the help

I think about my boyfriend if Im dating someone... Because thats who I want, thats who pleases me, so I have no need to think of anyone else.



No worries

quote:

Originally posted by urban_legend Thats why i love you.

Now hurry up and get yo ass down here so we can do sushi xo

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I realize that this will probably get a lot of people's knickers in knots, but here's my two cents anyway.

Not everybody views dating (i.e. anything pre-marriage) as a monogamous activity. There are couples who will have flings with other people, and be completely honest about this with each other, and have no problem at all with it. (Although admittedly this is getting rarer mainly out of safety concerns as opposed to emotional ones).

In my opinion anyway, it's only cheating if you lie about it. If you're still dating and not married, then it means you haven't committed yet. It means that you aren't sure you want to spend the remainder of your lives with each other and only with each other. If you were sure, you'd have the ring already.

This of course is assuming that both people are OK with it. Everybody has different boundaries and normally you find this out before you start using the term girlfriend/boyfriend (and if you didn't, why the hell not?). If you made a promise that you wouldn't fuck/kiss/grope/go for coffee with other people and you go ahead and do it anyway, then you're an asshole, regardless of how innocent it was or how drunk you were.

As with most things in life, it's not the act itself that's inherently honest or dishonest or good or bad; that judgment can only be made when matched up against expectations. So the answer is no, not everybody cheats, but not everybody even uses the same definition of cheating.

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quote:

Originally posted by MissK sushi

NOOOOO!!!! You said the forbidden word!!!!!!!

Now I'm craving for sushi again

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quote:

Originally posted by chinamon not true. i say "ugh" but i am a tranny.

quote:

Originally posted by kotsy lol colour me retarded

quote:

Originally posted by DigiNut I realize that this will probably get a lot of people's knickers in knots, but here's my two cents anyway. Not everybody views dating (i.e. anything pre-marriage) as a monogamous activity. There are couples who will have flings with other people, and be completely honest about this with each other, and have no problem at all with it. (Although admittedly this is getting rarer mainly out of safety concerns as opposed to emotional ones). In my opinion anyway, it's only cheating if you lie about it. If you're still dating and not married, then it means you haven't committed yet. It means that you aren't sure you want to spend the remainder of your lives with each other and only with each other. If you were sure, you'd have the ring already. This of course is assuming that both people are OK with it. Everybody has different boundaries and normally you find this out before you start using the term girlfriend/boyfriend (and if you didn't, why the hell not?). If you made a promise that you wouldn't fuck/kiss/grope/go for coffee with other people and you go ahead and do it anyway, then you're an asshole, regardless of how innocent it was or how drunk you were. As with most things in life, it's not the act itself that's inherently honest or dishonest or good or bad; that judgment can only be made when matched up against expectations. So the answer is no, not everybody cheats, but not everybody even uses the same definition of cheating.

Not everyone marries in order to be in a long term relationship

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quote:

Originally posted by chinamon not true. i say "ugh" but i am a tranny.

quote:

Originally posted by kotsy lol colour me retarded

we'll continue this later. i have to go out, got some cheatin' to do

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quote:

Originally posted by Yohan Not everyone marries in order to be in a long term relationship

That may be, but marriage is an explicit commitment to a long-term and exclusive relationship. That's why I limited my comment to non-married couples; if you're married and banging someone else, then you broke your promise, period.

Certainly most married couples don't cheat on each other, so if it seems like "every" nonmarried couple does, then maybe the problem isn't with the act, it's with the expectation.

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My party schedule:
2009-02-21 - DJ Attention @ I'm So Popular
2009-06-18 - DJ Annoying @ People Need To Know Where I'll Be
2012-11-32 - DJ Insufferable ɸ Or At Least the Stalkers I Complain About
2048-06-66 - Spastic & Whocares ¶ Although I'm Actually Flattered
9999-45-81 - Tweaker Gimp ☼ I Probably Won't Even Go To This But I Have To Make Sure I Fill Up All The Available Space Here

quote:

Originally posted by Yohan Not everyone marries in order to be in a committed relationship

fixed - time is not the factor necessarily. like DigiNut says, it becomes about the two people in the relationship and their views on what the relationship is and what consitutes cheating, however skewed or conservative their opinions may seem to anybody else.

quote:

Originally posted by DigiNut Certainly most married couples don't cheat on each other, so if it seems like "every" nonmarried couple does, then maybe the problem isn't with the act, it's with the expectation.

awfully high % of divorces, you sure about that? even some of the faithful married ones consent to extramarital relations too so really is a marriage a factor at all?

well, I think for clarity's sake, we need a definition of what constitutes cheating that we all can agree to. Something beyond Dr Phil, for instance. So I propose the following :

Cheating has occurred if and when sexual activities have been performed between one partner and a third party, when the first party knowingly and willfully chooses to participate in the said activity, knowing the second partner would disapprove.

Corollaries :
Making out, flirting, emotional cheating not counting, for simplicity's sake.
Not knowing if your partner would be upset doesn't count as cheating either, as it simply means you have not defined boundaries as-yet.

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