This seems to have turned into the general relationship thread, so I figure I'll ask this here. I've been wondering about this for a while.

Is it safe to assume (in general) that if two people are compatible enough to begin with for any real chemistry and lasting attraction to occur between them, these feelings are going to manifest themselves fairly quickly? Let's say in a span of weeks to a few months, in which the two people interact on a fairly regular basis (obviously, things are gonna move a lot more slowly for two people who meet and then only interact now and then for a while).

I ask because I don't really understand situations in which two people are friends/acquiantences for a long period of time before feelings start to develop and a relationship occurs. The whole "growing into the relationship" thing seems more to me like two people simply getting comfortable with each other and deciding to be in a relationship for some random reason that isn't due to actual love (like the need for companionship or validation). I don't get how there can be any passion in situations like that. I'm strictly talking about the presence of romantic feelings here--obviously there are legitimate circumstances that can prevent or delay the actual relationship.

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NEW MIX [Feb/March 2008]

quote:

Originally posted by nrjizer This seems to have turned into the general relationship thread, so I figure I'll ask this here. I've been wondering about this for a while. Is it safe to assume (in general) that if two people are compatible enough to begin with for any real chemistry and lasting attraction to occur between them, that these feelings are going to manifest themselves fairly quickly? Let's say in a span of weeks to a few months, in which the two people interact on a fairly regular basis (obviously, things are gonna move a lot more slowly for two people who meet and then only interact now and then for a while). I ask because I don't really understand situations in which two people are friends/acquiantences for a long period of time before feelings start to develop and a relationship occurs. The whole "growing into the relationship" thing seems more to me like two people simply getting comfortable with each other and deciding to be in a relationship for whatever random reason. I don't get how there can be any passion in situations like that. I'm strictly talking about the presence of romantic feelings here--obviously there are legitimate circumstances that can prevent or delay the actual relationship.

yea i know what you mean. usually it might take a night of heavy drinking and/or drugs with the 2 people and they ravage each other and have sex all night and then it's like, "wow, i never thought i'd be attracted to him like that" and all of these romantic feelings come out of nowhere. it's possible.

otherwise i would imagine it's a situation where one has feelings and the other doesn't really, and then the one with feelings gets balls and says, "hey i like you more than a friend, what do you say we give it a shot" type of thing.

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Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

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Originally posted by Slylee yea i know what you mean. usually it might take a night of heavy drinking and/or drugs with the 2 people and they ravage each other and have sex all night and then it's like, "wow, i never thought i'd be attracted to him like that" and all of these romantic feelings come out of nowhere. it's possible.

Yeah that does happen. I'd give those situations an exclusion, because what'll happen from that point on is that it'll either escalate quickly (as I would generally expect) or fizzle out quickly as nothing more than a drunken one-off.

The "giving it a shot" situation again just feels like there can't be anything worthwhile there. Why would it take you that long to make that decision, if not for the lack of any real spark to begin with? If it were a one sided attraction then it was doomed to begin with.

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NEW MIX [Feb/March 2008]

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Originally posted by Slylee "hey i like you more than a friend, what do you say we give it a shot" type of thing.

that is when you stop answering the bitch's phone calls

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quote:

Originally posted by nrjizer This seems to have turned into the general relationship thread, so I figure I'll ask this here. I've been wondering about this for a while. Is it safe to assume (in general) that if two people are compatible enough to begin with for any real chemistry and lasting attraction to occur between them, these feelings are going to manifest themselves fairly quickly? Let's say in a span of weeks to a few months, in which the two people interact on a fairly regular basis (obviously, things are gonna move a lot more slowly for two people who meet and then only interact now and then for a while). I ask because I don't really understand situations in which two people are friends/acquiantences for a long period of time before feelings start to develop and a relationship occurs. The whole "growing into the relationship" thing seems more to me like two people simply getting comfortable with each other and deciding to be in a relationship for some random reason that isn't due to actual love (like the need for companionship or validation). I don't get how there can be any passion in situations like that. I'm strictly talking about the presence of romantic feelings here--obviously there are legitimate circumstances that can prevent or delay the actual relationship.

hmmm... i feel like this applies to me, considering the last two relationships i have been in started out as simple friendships at first which then developed into something more (first one took a few months, second one took a few years).

i'd attribute it more to whether or not it's the right timing than anything else. maybe the feelings/passion have always been there, on some level, but there are so many things that could get in the way... maybe they aren't ready for a relationship at that point, maybe there's other stuff going on in their life, maybe they live too far away, maybe they don't realize until later that the feelings they have are more than platonic, etc...

i do agree that it's easy to fall into a relationship with someone you are already comfortable with, but personally i have no interest in being with someone unless i feel like they're my best friend. i've never done it out of convenience or because i was lonely. i can genuinely say that both times i felt a certain connection with the person and taking it to the next level just seemed so natural and obvious.

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quote:

Originally posted by nrjizer The "giving it a shot" situation again just feels like there can't be anything worthwhile there. Why would it take you that long to make that decision, if not for the lack of any real spark to begin with? If it were a one sided attraction then it was doomed to begin with.

no in that situation, i meant that one always had the feelings but was scared to come forward about it. and then all of a sudden they do and the other person isn't sure how they feel, but they go along and see what happens.

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Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

out of curiousity, Tom... were you referring to my situation in that post, or am i just reading into it too literally/personally?

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quote:

Originally posted by Slylee lol rose fuck yo friend! tell her i said that

I did and she was like "but whyyyyyyyy?!"




Just woke up. Had some hot pockets and grape juice lol

Gonna go clean the bathroom (ugh)

Then shower

Then call my friend until she answers her phone because I think she's asleep

Then get ready

Then go pick up my friend and go to some random house party with lots of weed and alcohol


On the way to the party make a pit stop to buy cigarettes


Should be a fun tonight. Oh and I *MIGHT* roll tonight. Even if I don't I'm going to either be hammer or high or a nice combination of both.

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Originally posted by AustralianGQ im a failure with females...i will be the real 40 year old virgin i guarentee you

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Originally posted by Rose I did and she was like "but whyyyyyyyy?!" Just woke up. Had some hot pockets and grape juice lol Gonna go clean the bathroom (ugh) Then shower Then call my friend until she answers her phone because I think she's asleep Then get ready Then go pick up my friend and go to some random house party with lots of weed and alcohol On the way to the party make a pit stop to buy cigarettes Should be a fun tonight. Oh and I *MIGHT* roll tonight. Even if I don't I'm going to either be hammer or high or a nice combination of both.

reading this post made brought on feelings of nostalgia. *sigh* oh to be 20 again

___________________

My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

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Originally posted by Slylee reading this post made brought on feelings of nostalgia. *sigh* oh to be 20 again

I don't want to think about getting older. So I'm enjoying this now

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Originally posted by AustralianGQ im a failure with females...i will be the real 40 year old virgin i guarentee you

quote:

Originally posted by Rose Just woke up. Had some hot pockets and grape juice lol

Fuckin GHETTO

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