|
| quote: | Originally posted by Col
Ahh yes, "Lord Of Bass"!
Being who I am, I found the prospect of hearing a track so full of bass that the hihats are no longer audible utterly arousing, and hence jumped at the chance to download this heavily hyped single, "DANCE..UNTIL YOU DROP DEAD!!"
The use of upper case letters and the suffix of two exclamation marks had me, quite literally, salivating with anticipation. The image of "Lord Of Bass" present on the site also caught my glance, and I decided that should there be anyone in the world worthy of carrying such a graceful title, it would be a man with that kind of bold figure and noble facial complexion.
However, I was painfully disappointed at this production. The first thing to jump out at you in this track is the simple breakbeat, consisting of a heavily distorted kick drum and a fairly standard snare. This unbelievably retarded combination of elements reminded me of sitting on the lavatory after a night of drinking.
My disgust soon turned to absolute hysteria upon hearing the clichéd pitched-down "hardstyle" voice chanting for me to "dance, dance" until I "drop dead". I'm not entirely sure why the word "dance" was repeated, but this may have been some kind of rhythmic device, similar to those used in homosexual nightclubs from the early 90s.
Lyrically, this track intrigued me. Could such a blistering complexion of sounds really cause me to "drop dead"? And if so, why exactly would I want to end my life at such a peak of euphoria? The dreary 6 remaining minutes of this piece answered both questions.
As the gated sawtooth melody tore its way into the foreground, I began to call my own existence into question. Why am I here? Why am I listening to a host of such ridiculously penetrative noises? Why did I even bother to download an mp3 from someone with the name of "Lord Of Bass"? As feelings of remorse and even depression began to sweep my insides, I began searching for the nearest sharp instrument.
However, around the 8:10 mark, this track starts to improve dramatically. All the sounds fade to silence, and the listener is presented with 12 blank seconds, presumably which the producer forgot to remove at the end of his piece. This felt almost like making love to a beautiful woman after being whipped with spiked ropes for 8 minutes, and I quickly found myself experiencing a natural high.
To conclude, I would certainly not recommend this production to everyone. In fact, I would not recommend it to anyone. I would actually be very wary of this critically-acclaimed "Lord Of Bass" and his Amiga 500 music. |
very funny hahahaha
___________________
PVD & M.I.K.E = GODs 
|
