required reading - Anal Sex: If she doesn't like it, you're not doing it right.

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Guidelines for Anyone Thinking About Shoving Anything Up Anyone Else's Butt in a Safe and Pleasurable Manner

lol

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NOBODY DOES THIS ANYMORE

quote:

Originally posted by lücid required reading - Anal Sex: If she doesn't like it, you're not doing it right.

no kidding.

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quote:

philippe - In MEXICO says: ur the most clever pothead i know philippe - In MEXICO says: u deserve a fucking medal

If you happen to be the one to clean your female partner's anus after you've had anal sex then always, always remember to wipe her front to back. This is extremely important because you could give her a yeast infection if you don't, which would be very unpleasant for her.

so where was i...

ohh yes -

so i hit up this 32 yr old over NYE... i mean i woke up in her bed NYD. but the point is i must've given it to her good cuz she was blowing up my cell for the next week.
now she's good looking and all. but 32. a fucking DECADE older than moi. and i just kinda tried to back out of it without making a big deal but it didn't work. let's just say bitch wouldn't take a hint.

so here's a guide of how to get a 32 yr old off your jock. you give in - right! - you give in and you just go there one night and just do your best. i mean really do you fucking best. about halfway through the session you finger her asshole - she's down you know she will be she's 32 - then lube it up and ka-pow! rock her all night long make both yous cum hard etc.
once she's passed out. literallly - shit in her fucking bed. i'm serious... you take your pants down (keep it clean grab TP) shit the fucking bed on your side. wipe your ass discard the used TP in the toilet. hopefully she doesn't wake up at this point - which she didn't. then you wake her ass up - make sure it's like 4-5 AM - as I like to call it "the dead hour". and you shake her ass awake you say "i gotta go can i have a kiss" as she gets halfway up for the kiss (still sleepy) maybe smelling something funky but not realizing. you take her head and just rocket it into the shit. (make sure you have all your stuff with you - you won't be coming back at this point) and you just walk the fuck out get in your car and drive. by then time she realizes what the fuck just happened you'll be halfway down the block and home free. yes your cellphone might get blown up but what you don't have to worry about is her telling someone to come kick your ass. and if she did her friends would probably laugh their asses off and call you a fucking pimp.

/problem solving.

quote:

Originally posted by josh4 so concludes my interest in this thread.

mission accomplished

quote:

Originally posted by Aristronica

what


the


fuck

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quote:

philippe - In MEXICO says: ur the most clever pothead i know philippe - In MEXICO says: u deserve a fucking medal

quote:

Originally posted by prolikewhoa what the fuck

yeah that's pretty much the reaction i was going for.

and coming from you it means alot.

quote:

Originally posted by Aristronica so where was i... ohh yes - so i hit up this 32 yr old over NYE... i mean i woke up in her bed NYD. but the point is i must've given it to her good cuz she was blowing up my cell for the next week. now she's good looking and all. but 32. a fucking DECADE older than moi. and i just kinda tried to back out of it without making a big deal but it didn't work. let's just say bitch wouldn't take a hint. so here's a guide of how to get a 32 yr old off your jock. you give in - right! - you give in and you just go there one night and just do your best. i mean really do you fucking best. about halfway through the session you finger her asshole - she's down you know she will be she's 32 - then lube it up and ka-pow! rock her all night long make both yous cum hard etc. once she's passed out. literallly - shit in her fucking bed. i'm serious... you take your pants down (keep it clean grab TP) shit the fucking bed on your side. wipe your ass discard the used TP in the toilet. hopefully she doesn't wake up at this point - which she didn't. then you wake her ass up - make sure it's like 4-5 AM - as I like to call it "the dead hour". and you shake her ass awake you say "i gotta go can i have a kiss" as she gets halfway up for the kiss (still sleepy) maybe smelling something funky but not realizing. you take her head and just rocket it into the shit. (make sure you have all your stuff with you - you won't be coming back at this point) and you just walk the fuck out get in your car and drive. by then time she realizes what the fuck just happened you'll be halfway down the block and home free. yes your cellphone might get blown up but what you don't have to worry about is her telling someone to come kick your ass. and if she did her friends would probably laugh their asses off and call you a fucking pimp. /problem solving.

i'll have to try and remember that one, sounds fool proof

quote:

Originally posted by Aristronica so where was i... ohh yes - so i hit up this 32 yr old over NYE... i mean i woke up in her bed NYD. but the point is i must've given it to her good cuz she was blowing up my cell for the next week. now she's good looking and all. but 32. a fucking DECADE older than moi. and i just kinda tried to back out of it without making a big deal but it didn't work. let's just say bitch wouldn't take a hint. so here's a guide of how to get a 32 yr old off your jock. you give in - right! - you give in and you just go there one night and just do your best. i mean really do you fucking best. about halfway through the session you finger her asshole - she's down you know she will be she's 32 - then lube it up and ka-pow! rock her all night long make both yous cum hard etc. once she's passed out. literallly - shit in her fucking bed. i'm serious... you take your pants down (keep it clean grab TP) shit the fucking bed on your side. wipe your ass discard the used TP in the toilet. hopefully she doesn't wake up at this point - which she didn't. then you wake her ass up - make sure it's like 4-5 AM - as I like to call it "the dead hour". and you shake her ass awake you say "i gotta go can i have a kiss" as she gets halfway up for the kiss (still sleepy) maybe smelling something funky but not realizing. you take her head and just rocket it into the shit. (make sure you have all your stuff with you - you won't be coming back at this point) and you just walk the fuck out get in your car and drive. by then time she realizes what the fuck just happened you'll be halfway down the block and home free. yes your cellphone might get blown up but what you don't have to worry about is her telling someone to come kick your ass. and if she did her friends would probably laugh their asses off and call you a fucking pimp. /problem solving.

Doesn't the first part of this story have to be true in order to do any of that?

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quote:

Originally posted by dj_bas Doesn't the first part of this story have to be true in order to do any of that?

you obviously don't know me. so we'll just end that right there.

ok

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