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Originally posted by narcism cheating = you don't love the person you're with simple as that... can someone change? Of course they can

People don't change. Only your perception of them does.

They may mature and get wiser, but at the end of the day it's still the same genetic makeup. It is essentially still the same person.

If the person cheated once then they will always have the capacity to do it again.

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quote:

Originally posted by Renzo I like when girls tell me, "my boyfriend would never cheat on me" and the weekend before I saw him making out with some sloot in a club. Naive people make me laugh.

I was at unigames recently and one guy in my team cheats on his gf all the time. He fucked one chick twice while we were down there.

The thing is that he talks ALL the time about how he loves his gf of almost 3 years and how she could be "the one".

A lot of the younger guys on the team think it's cool. They are fucking morons though. How do you love someone and want to get married yet cheat on them as if it's no big deal?

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you don't pure and simple

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Originally posted by Fledz A lot of the younger guys on the team think it's cool. They are fucking morons though. How do you love someone and want to get married yet cheat on them as if it's no big deal?

well its is a basic instinct for (men particularly) to "spread their seed" to as many women as possible.

However, in modern society it is expected that we have evolved enough to be able to control ourselves. So, which "head" do you listen to?

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Originally posted by Echo of Silence English isn't my first language, so I didn't understand your post. A person I know who is English said you think I'm angry. I'm not angry. Why would I be angry? She didn't cheat on me. But yes yes, I think it's shit to make a thread like this when one of the people you cheated on happens to read this forum. Its like rubbing salt in a wound, isn't it? She knows he was hurt. She knows he reads TA. So why would she make this thread? I don't get it. Is she trying to excuse her bad behaviour? I mean, really. But yeah, as elfreak says, I probably missed the bus. I always miss the damn bus.

all i'm going to say is that you definitely read a little too far into my motive behind the thread. that's not even remotely close to what i was thinking...because that would mean i was thinking about that person to begin with, which i never do lol

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quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

quote:

Originally posted by yankeeBaby well its is a basic instinct for (men particularly) to "spread their seed" to as many women as possible. However, in modern society it is expected that we have evolved enough to be able to control ourselves. So, which "head" do you listen to?

Evolutionary instinct is a poor excuse for that. It's rationalizing something bad.

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quote:

Originally posted by Fledz Evolutionary instinct is a poor excuse for that. It's rationalizing something bad.

no, its def not an excuse, thats not what I was saying. I am saying that in our subconcious-evolutionary-instinct, we are automatically attracted to MANY people.

But we are expected in todays society, to have evolved enough to rationalize and understand emotion, hurt, expectations, etc..... and thus hopefully be able to control ourselves (at least that is what is expected...what people actually DO is a whole other thing)

.....seeing many stats in my field of work, it has been said that 45% of men and 30(something)% of women are currently cheating on their partner. Thats a HUGE percent if you think about it. A majority of those being cheated *ON* say that they have 100% trust and good faith that their parnter is, in fact, NOT doing so! scary!

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Interesting. What kind of work do you do? Are the findings limited to a specific culture/region?

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quote:

Originally posted by Fledz Interesting. What kind of work do you do? Are the findings limited to a specific culture/region?

I am a therapist specializing in sexuality. I will be a full-fledged sex and relationship therapist in 3 years if everything works out right. (yes, there is a difference...I have the license to practice, but just graduated grad school and need 3 years under supervision before I can go private and claim myself as a "sex therapist").

The stats I saw recently were based in the US, spread across races, but were not specific in other areas. I can certainly find more specific one's (to take into account location, socioeconomic status, breakdown of ethnicity/race, etc....) but I figured I would put up a broad figure instead of going into specifics (its just a music forum! hehe).

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im not surprised by those numbers. and it's because of the high rate of people who are in relationships for all the wrong reasons...hence, why they would miss signs of a cheater and just continue to live their life in one big fat lie or bubble of denial lol

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quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

quote:

Originally posted by yankeeBaby I am a therapist specializing in sexuality. I will be a full-fledged sex and relationship therapist in 3 years if everything works out right. (yes, there is a difference...I have the license to practice, but just graduated grad school and need 3 years under supervision before I can go private and claim myself as a "sex therapist"). The stats I saw recently were based in the US, spread across races, but were not specific in other areas. I can certainly find more specific one's (to take into account location, socioeconomic status, breakdown of ethnicity/race, etc....) but I figured I would put up a broad figure instead of going into specifics (its just a music forum! hehe).

Hold on a sec. USA data is not a broad figure. It's actually the opposite. It's specific. If you took into account 50 nations from all around the world, that would be a broad figure.

Those stats coming from the US don't surprise me either.

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