quote:

Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On I think that people who think that way are absolutely the ones that should have kids, because if they're genuinely concerned about accidentally fucking them up, then they actually have the capacity to worry about them enough not to.

Perhaps. At least I'm aware of the responsibility required. It seems terrifying how many completely unequipped people have kids, without any consideration that this person is one day to going to be a fully grown member of society who can legally purchase firearms. But still, fear is a poor motivation for raising your children, it should be genuine love and enthusiasm.

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As much as I can agree with that on paper, it still rather leaves a bad taste in my mouth to see people make the 'rational' choice to have a child - like they wait all their lives to be financially secure, have nice things, good employment, the ability to provide their children with everything they ever want. On some level, it casts doubt on me that these parents will be able to impart the important lessons these children absolutely need to become real people - the value of both money and even love is meaningless to people without want or deprivation. Of course I see the point that being in absolute poverty and transience is a poor environment to raise a child in, but I think the best parents are the ones who simultaneously fear and love parenting. It just makes stronger people who understand the value of family over ephemeral things like money and security.

I don't know, I'm sure there's no good way to judge these sorts of things objectively because parenting is truly a case-by-case basis. I hope I didn't fuck up my explanation too bad.

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Since elementary school, I told myself I never wanted any. If I ever do get married / serious relationship I will adopt.

I want kids. I just don't want to be the one responsible for raising them. Luckily I am a male and I can just impregnate and leave. Ah, its best being a man.

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter The difference is that you appear ready to jump to whatever conclusion makes you feel better without any evidence, whereas I only went so far as to opine that it was interesting that so many kids seemed fine without these medications.

I wasn't jumping to anything. I've heard that argument many times over the years. I'm very hesitant to accept anything just because it feels comforting, because that usually just leads to even more discomfort down the road.

There are two different (yet obviously related) conditions, ADD and ADHD. The latter is the only one that causes acting out that you would be able to see.

Oh, and I also don't want kids.

I want kids so I can be a good dad and beat them with a sack of oranges.

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quote:

Originally posted by Alex I want kids so I can be a good dad and beat them with a sack of oranges.

Door-knobs > oranges

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I didn't want any, and now I have two

I failed my life.

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quote:

Originally posted by Alex I want kids so I can be a good dad and beat them with a sack of oranges.

Screw that, taser them. Set them straight from the get go.

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Originally posted by malek I didn't want any, and now I have two I failed my life.

Do you still not want them?

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quote:

Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On I don't know, I'm sure there's no good way to judge these sorts of things objectively because parenting is truly a case-by-case basis. I hope I didn't fuck up my explanation too bad.

In our case, my partner is god-mother to 3 kids, the parents couldn't afford 1, then having twins and another little one 2 years after caused them to become so in debt, there is literally no way out of the economic hole they where already in.
Completely and utterly broke.
Guess who's holding the bag so to speak?

You may question the life choices of some of us to wait until we're self sufficient and able to have children without the stress of finances complicating things further, but the really nasty reality of some situations is that you're either mad or an idiot to do so otherwise. But while their parents are off getting their crap together, the kids aren't going to want for anything and its better than shovelling cash into the hands of people that need to manage it and their own lives better.

I've seen the results of rock bottom poverty on kids and its truly hideous beyond anyone in the developed world with its social safety nets can imagine. You might see it on TV and read about it, but the actual reality is so confronting it'll change your perspective on a whole lot of things.