| quote: | Originally posted by loca
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| quote: | Originally posted by Jem_hadar
I dont understand why the black guy doesnt have spiked hair too. How can he fit in then?
Jay, explain this to me! |
That is one smart black man. Jamie I will let you in on a little secret us black guys know, but you'd better not tell any Vagino this. Jamie let me take a minute or two to explain this phenomenon to you.
You see this photo was taken downtown just moments before the Vagino's went into da club.
Now the second golden rule of being a Vagino is that no other Vagino can be prettier than you. You can exclude your posse though (posse = click of like minded Vagino's who get together and share inside waxing, tanning and make-up/fashion tips).
And us black people know this. Now this photo was taken just minutes before they all got into da club.
Now before entering this particular club the black man did his homework and discovered this club was a Vagino and Pina breeding ground (Important factor, as it ties into the Second golden rule). So he innocently lures the Vagino’s to this club telling them of promised cheap drinks, no cover and an abundance of Pina’s. Basically every Vagino’s heaven and this black mans perfectly laid out trap.
This black man instinctively knows trouble is going to find his little posse tonight sooner or later. Another inside tip; to speed up the process the black man might suggest that the Vagino’s get together and pre-drink and pump up their already saturated egos. A serious note though. Using this technique can be very dangerous and back fire as Vagino’s are notorious known for not being able to handle their alcohol. This can cause one or two Vagino’s to pass out and not get into da club. So use this technique sparingly. You must remember that the plan is to get all the Vagino’s safely into the club.
Now it goes without saying but during the course of the night the Vagino's will drink numerous alcohol beverages to up their cool factor. This is when all the black mans efforts will begin to pay off. (I mean he’s had to suffer hanging around them and acting like his life’s priorities are hair gel (we wear dew rags assholes), hair spray, cologne and Xen-Tan and there ever faithful beauty products) So now that his posse has consumed enough liquid courage their hunt for Pina pussy can begin.
This is the beginning of the end for his poor little Vagino’s. The black man knows that sooner or later one of his little Vagino’s is gonna hit on the wrong little Pina and her steroid Vagino boyfriend is gonna go all Ape shit on their ass. Almost like it was rehearsed the little Vagino hits on the first painted up Pina he sees. Shit the little Vagino is so drunk he hit on another Vagino. (This happens quite often as both sexes tend to resemble each other remarkable and both squat to piss). There are subtle differences between the two however, but being drunk our little Vagino was having a hard time.
But luckily light shines on a dog’s ass every once in awhile and our little Vagino finds himself a little Pina to mack on. Her gel loving cologne showered boy toy does not approve of this and immediately he starts to go into a steroid induced frenzy. Now this is were it all comes together for the black man.
It is widely known that Vagino’s always fight in packs never alone. This is to make it look like 1) They have lots of friends and 2) So they don’t have to actually fight and ruin their hair. The fight pursues and the Vagino’s gather their armies. Now armed with their posses they are ready to start the fake fighting. Now starts the name calling from both camps
“Your cologne smells like brute”
“Oh yeah will you use dep hair gel” (a low blow even by Vagino standards).
With things getting so serious the bouncers begin to notice this and come over to see what the bitches I mean Vagino’s are fighting over. This is where the most critical part of the black man plan comes into play.
Now Vagino’s will do anything to not get kicked out of a club. It is accepted and common knowledge that they will tuck their tails between their legs at the first sight of any authority figures. And will do whatever it takes to remain inside da club. They are not limited to bribing and the bouncers know this. The bouncers will soon be taking mommy and daddies allowance away from all those who want to stay inside.
This is where the black man finds the loudest Vagino in his posse (There all loud, but there is always the one) to tell the bouncers that they will NOT pay and that they will find another club to go to. Now the bouncers are thinking “What the fuck did that little Vagino just say to me? I’ll fix him and his little bitch ass friends really good”. The black mans excitement builds as he knows how this little song and dance will now play out.
Now pissed off the bouncers haul the little group of Vagino’s out. Now with their clothes and hair messed up from being pulled out of the club they are enraged. This angers the Vagino’s to no end and they start to shout insults to the bouncers. Big mistake on there part. The Vagino’s in their drunken rage forgot that they parked their cars at the back of the club. This is about the time were the bouncer tells them to follow him and several of his buddies to the back and he’ll show them were their cars are.
One Vagino thinks “Wow, these guys *hic* sure are nice to help us*hic* find our cars.” You can almost taste the black man excitement. He knows. It is almost too easy he thinks to himself with a wicked grin. The black man waits as his posse is escorted to behind the club to “get their cars”.
The Vagino’s get to the back of the club and are surprised to discover that their cars are not there. What is going on they all think. Poor little Vagino’s. The beating that ensues is far too graphic to describe for this post but let me tell you all involved Vagino’s are now eating mashed potatoes through a straw. After all the desperate pleas for help go unanswered and all the cries for help finally subside; this is when the black man goes in for the kill.
Upon turning the corner at the back of the club the black man sees an all too familiar seen. All the Vagino’s laid the fuck out by the clubs security. Jamall being the nice guy he is quickly removes all cash from their wallets and helps himself to their gold chains. Jamall being the nice guy he is will leave their wallets so the proper authorities will be able to identify them. Jamall knows it would be a shame if someone else came along back there and saw the little Vagino’s knocked and help themselves to their valuables. So Jamall removed their valuable for “safe keepings”. Jamall will store their cash in his account and will deposit all their bling bling securely at the nearest pawn shop for their later retrieval.
This Jamie my friend is the story as to why Jamall was hanging around those Vagino’s.
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Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO- What a Ride!" Unknown 
Last edited by KKEFKA on Jan-17-2006 at 14:38
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