Okay, so I had this conversation with another mate on the weekend and he explained the concept of folding vs scrunching to me.



I thought scrunchers scrunched AFTER wiping, not before. How the fuck do you wipe your arse with a scrunched bit of paper?!

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated Okay, so I had this conversation with another mate on the weekend and he explained the concept of folding vs scrunching to me. I thought scrunchers scrunched AFTER wiping, not before. How the fuck do you wipe your arse with a scrunched bit of paper?!

i want there to be as much paper between my hand and my shitty arse as possible, and this is best achieved by scrunching. to get the kind of thickness of paper im happy with by folding, id be there all fucking day.

im sure with your dazzling intellect you'd be able to figure out how to wipe with a scrunched bit of paper.

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Also, how do blind people make sure their bum is clean?

Do they have someone there with them who examines the paper after each wipe and says: 'yep, you're still dirty.' If that was my job I'd tell them they were clean every time.

quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN i want there to be as much paper between my hand and my shitty arse as possible, and this is best achieved by scrunching. to get the kind of thickness of paper im happy with by folding, id be there all fucking day. im sure with your dazzling intellect you'd be able to figure out how to wipe with a scrunched bit of paper.

But then the shit would go everywhere when the paper was removed from your cheeks and started moving back to the 'unscrunched' position.

Folding prevents this.

Also, I double fold. How is 6 sheets of paper between your hand and your hole not enough for you?!

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated Also, how do blind people make sure their bum is clean? Do they have someone there with them who examines the paper after each wipe and says: 'yep, you're still dirty.' If that was my job I'd tell them they were clean every time.

Easy. If their bum is itchy 5 minutes later they know they haven't wiped enough.

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p.s I stuck a pill up my bum on the weekend and got poo stuck under my fingernail.

quote:

Originally posted by Fledz Easy. If their bum is itchy 5 minutes later they know they haven't wiped enough.

Poo itches? I wouldn't know, I've never left it in there.

Anyway, by then it would be too late. The damage to your underpants would be irreversible.

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated But then the shit would go everywhere when the paper was removed from your cheeks and started moving back to the 'unscrunched' position.

shit, being of strong binding fabric, keeps the tool together.

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated Also, I double fold. How is 6 sheets of paper between your hand and your hole not enough for you?!

are you saying that 6 sheets is UN standard or something?

i dunno, ive just never fancied origami while sitting on the shitter. at some stage i just felt that i had better control over the whole process by becoming a scruncher. and maybe sometimes i even vary, who can be sure?

me and a flatmate did keep a shit diary next to the toilet though for a while. i wish i still had that

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated p.s I stuck a pill up my bum on the weekend and got poo stuck under my fingernail.

haha, that's awesome.

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Man, tear off 3 squares. Fold once. That's 2 x 3ply = 6 sheets (as he said). Plenty of paper.

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quote:

Originally posted by Fledz Man, tear off 3 squares. Fold once. That's 2 x 3ply = 6 sheets (as he said). Plenty of paper.

lol. i know you've had an epiphany in this thread and evolved your toilet habits, but having been rather happy with how ive wiped my arse for the last ~27 years and i see no reason to change policy now

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quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN lol. i know you've had an epiphany in this thread and evolved your toilet habits, but having been rather happy with how ive wiped my arse for the last ~27 years and i see no reason to change policy now

What?

Oh no you idiots, I didn't switch because of this thread I switched a couple of years back. Was just saying I did when the inevitable conversation in a group setting came up, not this afternoon when opening this thread

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quote:

Originally posted by Fledz Oh no you idiots, I didn't switch because of this thread

aww

quote:

Originally posted by Fledz not this afternoon when opening this thread

well obviously!

but in any case, im a little curious why it took you so long to figure out your preference for something you've had such practice at.

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