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DigiNut
You kids get off my lawn!

Registered: Dec 2002
Location: Toronto, Self-proclaimed Centre of the Universe
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| quote: | Originally posted by MissK
Quite a number of your friends who party are in relationships with partiers. We are all examples that you need to find the right one. And a good match can be very complementary. |
Ehhh, with all due respect to you and to them, the mere existence of couples in the scene does not disprove his point, unless those relationships actually last for more than a few months without the influence of drugs, and most don't.
Now some people may say this is true for all relationships, and it probably is to some extent, but it's way worse in the "scene".
Sure you need to "find the right one" - that's pretty much a universal truth - but the likelihood of finding them in a club is vanishingly small compared to, say, college/university, or mainstream social events, or, hell, even the internet in this day and age.
___________________
My party schedule:
2009-02-21 - DJ Attention @ I'm So Popular
2009-06-18 - DJ Annoying @ People Need To Know Where I'll Be
2012-11-32 - DJ Insufferable ɸ Or At Least the Stalkers I Complain About
2048-06-66 - Spastic & Whocares ¶ Although I'm Actually Flattered
9999-45-81 - Tweaker Gimp ☼ I Probably Won't Even Go To This But I Have To Make Sure I Fill Up All The Available Space Here
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Oct-23-2008 22:46
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MissK
Supreme tranceaddict

Registered: Apr 2005
Location: Bongo Bay
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| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
Ehhh, with all due respect to you and to them, the mere existence of couples in the scene does not disprove his point, unless those relationships actually last for more than a few months without the influence of drugs, and most don't.
Now some people may say this is true for all relationships, and it probably is to some extent, but it's way worse in the "scene".
Sure you need to "find the right one" - that's pretty much a universal truth - but the likelihood of finding them in a club is vanishingly small compared to, say, college/university, or mainstream social events, or, hell, even the internet in this day and age. |
Graham's statement was that girls in the scene are not dating material. No mention of drugs.
I disagreed with him because I can count probably twenty or more long term couples I know of alone that have met in the scene, party together and have a positive future.
Now compared to singles...there are WAY more single people in the clubs than couples, very obvious.
The common bond of the love for this music makes it easy to fall for someone with that similar love and lifestyle. I am biased though because I am a living example of someone who dates in the scene past and present. It's simply too much a part of my life.
___________________
Everything happens for a reason
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Oct-24-2008 13:43
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kaniz
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Sep 2005
Location:
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Been together around 4 years (minus a few month period of breakup, but unrelated to scene things) - and still going strong.
When both parties are very into something / passionate about it, being able to share that as a common interest can be a very strong bonding factor.
Now, lets swap out music with another interest : Writing, Reading, Movies, Art, Theater, whatever - if that is something that you are passionate about, and something that consumes a large part of your free time and interest, wouldn't you want to have a partner that shared a similar interest, or one that was compatible? Or, at the least - enjoyed it enough to indulge you in your interest.
ie: If your into theater, and involved in the theater scene (acting, producing, directing, working at a theater, whatever - some level of involvement beyond going to a show once or twice a year) - would you want to date someone who viewed theater as "arty-farty crap", only liked action movies and block-busters, and bitched and moaned every time you tried to get them involved in an aspect of your life that you take a strong interest in, and get a large amount of enjoyment from?
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Oct-24-2008 14:36
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SasH21
MissssssSasHHHHHH

Registered: Mar 2007
Location: Toronto
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This thread has been very interesting to read so far, so I want to share my take on this topic as well.
I have dated a lot of men in the past before I met my current bf, and I was mostly looking to date someone out of the scene, but later realized that it's doesn't completely work for me. While I wasn't looking for a guy who goes out every single weekend, it was still very important for me to know that he could appreciate and understand my love for edm. I have brought a few "regular no edm" dudes to fw on several occasions, and I can tell that they didn't really get it, and I was classified as not relationship material and weird. Everyone has their differences, but I realized that it may cause some problems down the road. When I met my current bf it was a breath of fresh air. He is over his crazy party days and has a very good head on his shoulders. Obviously, I haven't been out that much lately, but when I do it's great to be able to go out with him and enjoy going to edm events together. So, I would agree that it's possible to date someone out of the scene, but if your partner has an understanding for your passion for music, it definitely deepens your connection, and you can have tons of fun together when u go out on occasions.
On the other hand, if a couple parties hard together all the time, it can ruin their relationship. There needs to be that balance between fun and responsobilities.
___________________
Let's Dance! @>--
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Oct-24-2008 14:47
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yankeeBaby
Keepin it real....

Registered: Feb 2005
Location: Upper West Side NYC
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Oct-24-2008 15:03
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The Highroller
ad hoc and ad lib

Registered: Oct 2002
Location: Flying over the cuckoo's nest
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| quote: | Originally posted by MissK
Graham's statement was that girls in the scene are not dating material. No mention of drugs. |
That's not what I meant though. I said that girls that I meet are not dating material for me. This is for a number of reasons:
- Lots of girls my age are still in the "honeymoon" phase of partying. As a result, it's a huge priority for them. Often, they're "caught up in it" a bit too much for my liking.
- Many girls my age have just started partying and will likely not be going to the same parties as me anyway, so there's really no benefit of them liking the same genre of music as me. (re: honeymoon phase)
- Many are not interested in dating
I keep an open mind about it, but I'm definitely not "looking" in the scene. Refer to Digi's quote:
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
Sure you need to "find the right one" - that's pretty much a universal truth - but the likelihood of finding them in a club is vanishingly small compared to, say, college/university, or mainstream social events, or, hell, even the internet in this day and age. |
| quote: | | I disagreed with him because I can count probably twenty or more long term couples I know of alone that have met in the scene, party together and have a positive future. |
This is true, but I find that the majority of couples in the scene have been together for a very long time and often they started dating before they started partying.
| quote: | | The common bond of the love for this music makes it easy to fall for someone with that similar love and lifestyle. I am biased though because I am a living example of someone who dates in the scene past and present. It's simply too much a part of my life. |
Hmmm, I don't know about this point. While I agree that it is great to share the love of music and partying with your partner, for me personally, that bond is only secondary. Primarily, the girl has to live up to my standards of values and goals. I find that many girls I meet in the scene are not compatible with me in this respect.
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Oct-24-2008 15:08
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