I guess it all has to do with the way you were raised. Personally, I think that if it's a relationship you're looking for, then the first few times, the guy should pay, but after that, it should be an equal 'responsibility' for both of you.

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Originally posted by St_Andrew so, someone just got pissed on me big time cause i didnt pay for my date's supper (my date didn't get pissed, but my host mum). So i was woundering, you think the guy should pay for supper if you go out for a date? Personally i have nothing against paying for supper, but then i also excpect her to pay for me some other time, so either some kind of every other time, or seperate bills. If the girl excpect me to pay every time im seriously not thinking she is worth my time, but then again it might be because im used to another culture And i know there was a similar thread a while back, but i cant find it!

Without a doubt....the guy should pay for the first few dates or until you get her in the sack. There are just some old fashion gestures that should be maintained....simple things like opening a door for a lady and paying for a date.

After you have been dating for awhile then I don't think it matters.

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Originally posted by Kytracid Jus a stab in the dark here, but i'm thinking it's gonna involve one or more of the following: cooking, cleaning, performing no hands fellatio, pumping out babies in timely fashion, looking good on your arm and ummm...lots and lots of botox injections and plastic surgery.

No... I cook and clean... I'm also against most plastic surgery (it should only be performed in situations like severe burns or severe deformation). I'm also against the idea of a trophey wife... and looks are not the most important thing anyway.

The economics change with marriage, with the pooling of resources.

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Women don't need to be pampered and treated like princesses. That's their daddies job for the first 10-15 years of their lives, not yours.

Absolutely disagree. If you care about her, you'd pamper her without thinking about it. Also, women go through things that men don't, so it's a man's duty to give more help to her than the other way around.

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Reaching for your wallet everytime the bill arrives doesn't make you a real man. It just makes you a chump and her personal ATM machine.

Your view of women as money-hungry is really skewed. Paying for dates doesn't make a man a chump, it makes him considerate.

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quote:

Originally posted by ShadoWolf No... I cook and clean... I'm also against most plastic surgery (it should only be performed in situations like severe burns or severe deformation). I'm also against the idea of a trophey wife... and looks are not the most important thing anyway. The economics change with marriage, with the pooling of resources.

So, I guess that leaves her with the role of providing you with the no hands fellatio and pumping out the odd baby or two eh ?

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Absolutely disagree. If you care about her, you'd pamper her without thinking about it. Also, women go through things that men don't, so it's a man's duty to give more help to her than the other way around.

Sounds like passive chavunism to me. Treating women like they're too fragile and might break if they lift a fingernail might work for you. Frankly, i'm of the opinion that women are capable of enduring more hardship then men. Women are generally stronger mentally then men. They also have a remarkably high threshold of pain. Don't let the princesses around here fool you. Socities elsewhere have been built on the backs of women. Not saying it's fair...but to say that they need help is incorrect. I agree that it's a man's duty to help his woman. But pampering is something i'd reserve for my kids...i'd want the very best for my wife, but i wouldn't pamper her. I object to the use of that word because in my mind if you pamper something, you run the risk of spoiling it. The snooty bitches you see running around these days are a by product of men who sought to gain control by pampering and showering them with all the luxuries the material world has to offer.

You don't need to coddle a woman to show her that you are a considerate man. I doubt todays strong, independant woman even wants to be pampered all the time. Women can pamper themselves - and do so on a regular basis. If you turn yourself into an ATM machine for them...expect to get used. If you send out signals that you're the type of man who wants to treat his woman like a princess all the time you'll inevitably find yourself under the heel of a princess with queen-bitch aspirations. Might not happen today...but you're setting yourself up for that in the long run.

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Your view of women as money-hungry is really skewed. Paying for dates doesn't make a man a chump, it makes him considerate.

Paying EVERYTIME makes him a chump. I never said a man shouldn't pay...but if you're reaching for the wallet everytime, while she's reaching into the prada bag for her lipstick...buddy, you're a chump. Don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise. A considerate chump...But a chump nonetheless.

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Last edited by Kytracid on May-17-2005 at 18:41

Personally, I believe in equality in relationships. I very rarely have the guy pay for me...for anything. I don't really like it when people buy me things. Even on my birthday! I feel bad! Haha On special occassions, like Valentine's Day or something, okay. But for the most part, I like to split the bill.

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Originally posted by *~LiSa-LoO~* Personally, I believe in equality in relationships. I very rarely have the guy pay for me...for anything. I don't really like it when people buy me things. Even on my birthday! I feel bad! Haha On special occassions, like Valentine's Day or something, okay. But for the most part, I like to split the bill.

^^^ Same here! I like paying for my own stuff... unless it's a special occasion... I also like the taking turns to pay idea, that way everyone gets treated once in a while and it's only fair!

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sounds used to symbolically recreate human biological rhythm.

quote:

Originally posted by ShadoWolf

As a guy, if you want to pay for your date, than that's great and awesome. It's a very nice, considerate and generous thing to do (the same vice versa if the woman would like to pay for the date).

But to think you are expected to pay or that it is your "duty" or something to pay is insulting in the least!


As an aside, I'm curious to what these other things women go through that men don't (besides the already mentioned child birth) that "entitle" them to such things as the man needing to pick up the tab...?

I'm not saying I don't pick up the tab, hell, most of the time I do, and I don't complain or worry about it -- but that's because I've chosen to do so because I want to and don't generally mind, NOT because I feel I'm obliged to and that it is my duty as a man!

~Jem~

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to all my ladies!!!!!


All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me

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quote:

Originally posted by ChemEnhanced Without a doubt....the guy should pay for the first few dates or until you get her in the sack. There are just some old fashion gestures that should be maintained....simple things like opening a door for a lady and paying for a date. After you have been dating for awhile then I don't think it matters.

if i have to be old fashioned why shouldnt she be then? Stay home and raise the kids and have supper waiting for me when i get home. Oh so now im chauvenist.... but what does that make the woman who expects me to still be traditional?

Glaring double standards here.

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quote:

Originally posted by jester Everything in this country is illegal.

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quote:

Originally posted by Jayx1 if i have to be old fashioned why shouldnt she be then? Stay home and raise the kids and have supper waiting for me when i get home. Oh so now im chauvenist.... but what does that make the woman who expects me to still be traditional? Glaring double standards here.

I agree though..and I'm a female..not sure what that makes me..

*I should add. This is how I feel. I would never try to force my opinion/beliefs on another person.

*~LiSa-LoO~* and preppie chick, wish more girls were you like you here cheers to you =) there is light! hehe, actually you are kinda like swedish girls, they even get offended if you offer them to pay too much!

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Originally posted by Jem_hadar DUDE! Whut the holy christ! I cant believe that fuckn shit! you have GOTTA be kidding me... she fucking sent ur host mom an email (let alone a MASSIVE-ass email) re: this matter. dude, thats gotta be bullshit, are u for real!?!?!? WHo the fuck are u living with?? and HOW THE HELL do you deal w/ it! Im w/ Jayx1, i know this women, but i find her UTTERLY RIDDICULOUS!!!!!! im in shock and disbelief. I could NEVER have lived in your situation under such a regime! Dude, tell me shes religious too... -jem-

LOL yeah she is super religious too!!! and it is IMPOSSBILE to change her mind about anything when she has decided for something (which is pretty much always)... even tho she doesnt have ANY logical arguments!!!

i hate it

and yeah i dont know how i survive, its a matter of patience i guess learnt a lot tho, so its still a great experience even tho i kinda expected something else

42 days left!!!