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Dennis Miller recently said the following about the Mideast
situation:
"A brief overview of the situation is always
valuable, so as a service
to all Americans who still don't get it,
I now offer you the story of the Middle East in
just a few paragraphs,
which is all you really need.
Here we go:
The Palestinians want their own country.
There's just one thing about that: There are no
Palestinians.
It's a made up word.
Israel was called Palestine for two thousand
years.
Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds ancient
but is really a modern invention
Before the Israelis won the land in the 1967 war,
Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank was owned
by Jordan,
and there were no "Palestinians."
As soon as the Jews took over and started growing
oranges as big as basketballs,
what do you know, say hello to the
"Palestinians,"
weeping for their deep bond with their lost
"land" and "nation."
So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the
word "Palestinian"
anymore to describe these delightful folks, who
dance for joy
at our deaths, until someone points out they're
being taped.
Instead, let's call them what they are
:
"Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In
Life
And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In
The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And
Death."
I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on
CNN.
How about this, then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters."
Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own
country.
Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't.
They could've had their own country any time in
the last thirty years,
especially two years ago at Camp David
but if you have your own country, you have to
have traffic lights
and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce,
and, worse,
you actually have to figure out some way to make
a living.
That's no fun. No, they want what all the other
Jew-Haters in the region want: <
st1:country-region w:st="on">Israel.
They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course
--
that's where the real fun is -- but mostly they
want Israel.
Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or
"The Zionist Entity"
as their textbooks call it --
for the last fifty years has allowed the rulers
of Arab countries
to divert the attention of their own people
away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon
most illiterate,
poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth,
and if you've ever been around God's Earth . . .
you know
that's really saying something.
It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our
pundits waxes poetic
about the great history and culture of the Muslim
Mideast.
Unless I'm missing something, the Arabs haven 't
given anything to the
world since Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a
hell of a lot for that
one.
Chew this around & spit it out: 500 million
Arabs; 5 million Jews.
Think of all the Arab countries as a football
field,
and Israel as a pack of matches sitting in the
middle of it.
And now these same folks swear that, if Israel
gives them
half of that pack of matches, everyone will be
pals..
Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about
the string of wars to
obliterate the tiny country and the constant din
of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the
sea?
Oh, that? We were just kidding.
My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the
other day:
Just reverse the Numbers.
Imagine 500 million Jews and 5 million Arabs.
I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it .
Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of
razor blades
and dynamite to themselves? Of course not.
Or marshaling every fiber and force at their
disposal for generations
to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea?
Nonsense.
Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents?
Impossible.
Or spreading and believing horrible lies about
the Arabs baking their
bread with the blood of children? Disgusting.
No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of
peace,
the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate
them to death.
Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope.
I understand that,
with vital operations in Iraq and others, it's in
our interest, as
Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as
much as possible,
and, after all, that can't be much harder than
stabilizing a roomful of
super models who've just had their drugs taken
away.
However, in any big-picture strategy, there's
always a danger
of losing moral weight. We've already lost some.
After September 11th, our president told us and
the world he was going
to root out all terrorists and the countries that
supported them.
Beautiful.
Then the Israelis, after months and months of
having the equivalent of
an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day),
start to do the same thing we did, and we tell
them to show restraint.
If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma
City every day,
we would all very shortly be screaming for the
administration
to just be done with it and kill everything south
of the Mediterranean
and east of the Jordan.
___________________
Albert Einstein, who, like many other scientists, held religion to consist of a reverence toward the universe as best as we can understand it, not worship toward a supernatural creator
"Show me a person without an ego and i will show you a loser" Donald Trump
ALL LIFE AND PROSPERITY
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my bad I was acting like a child and I know you guys on TA hate that sorrrry , cause if you meet me in person you gonan be cool with me and I dont want people thinking im some asshole cause I talk shit online fuck that .
