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This is my last and only post I will make on this subject.
Firstly, I would like to apologize for my actions in regards to that post that started this all. My state of mind at that moment had nothing to do with tranceaddict, nor with anything posted on it...including the jennypie thread. Did it bother me yes, but even at my weakest I am not or never was that weak to let something like that truly affect me. My condition is of my own doing...
I do not feel the need to break down my life for all of you, but I will try and justify the note to hopefully put all of this to rest. I was in a bad place, and yes i did certain things to myself that made those actions (posting) seem rational at the time. I am not my online persona...i never was. I was at the end of my rope and i made a mistake.
I did not want to send that to my ex, but i felt like i needed to get it out. I didn't speak to friends for fear that they might talk me out of it...once again my mistake.
I never realized that TA would be able to intervene, so i dumped it here. To those that intervened , thank you. My head was not in the right place, and your actions helped me prevent any further damage to myself. I never intended it to be a cry for help, but it has become one, and hopefully one that will help me get over this hump. As embarrassing as admitting all of this is, having the cops and ambulance show up at my door prevented things from escalating and saved my life. Realize that no matter who we are, how well we live, we all have moments of weakness. There are no justifications for my actions, it all lies on my shoulders, and i know have to live with the ramifications of what i did to my body that night.
To all of those i pissed off in my time here, i will not apologize. Throwing stones in glass houses or something like that right? I never thought my actions under any of the names i have had on this board would upset some of you as much as they seem to have...i suppose before judging my self admitted weakness, i suggest some of you look deep inside at the weaknesses in yourselves.
I'm sorry if i made anyone worry, and I honestly never thought it would get around so much, way out of the spectrum of this site. I didn't care that night, and wasn't planning on sticking around to see what came after. A dick move for sure.
I don't want any pity, i do not want anymore attention due to this, and I seriously do not care at any judgement of the post I am now writing and will not respond. None of that means anything, my problems are mine and mine alone.
I probably should not have even bothered to post this. My only reasoning to this is I feel I owe it to those who took steps and gave a shit, when i was not even able or willing to give a shit about myself. I thank you, I am sure my family thanks you, for somehow managing to make a bad situation into a positive.
As to the rest I don't really care. My being a cock on here was somewhat of a reflection towards the way i really felt about myself. Without naming any names, a few of you that act in similar ways to the way i did....
Sorry for the slylee post, but i feel like i needed it to be done. Once again i apologize, and thank you, you guys know who you are even if don't.
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