|
| quote: | Originally posted by naesean3
Fair enough.....
But you know what - in hindsight - I do not think I should have posted any other way.
I have thought a fair bit about this thread today (even had a fucked up dream about it last night).
Things accomplished:
- I defended my position.
- Became more aware of my actions.
- I tried to dispel some rumours about numerous points within this thread.
- Made some things known to those that maybe did not know and were wondering.
- Gave some insight into what it means to be me.
- Talked some things through with a couple of people as a result (Jeff your return post is much appreciated - thank you  )
- Garnered some new respect and reaffirmed those whose support I can rely on totally (you know who you are thanks for the PM's and posts!)
- Created an open dialogue for discussion (what these forums are for).
- Learned more about people and how they view me (always useful - good or bad).
and I am happy for all these reasons as stated above.......although there are a few things that are still unaccomplished.
Things unaccomplished:
- Backing down and shutting down (old habit - I AM PROUD!)
- Dispelling many other gay myths/misconceptions as there are many
- Still have not received any PM's or MSN comments from anyone who has also been subjected to my uncomfortable behaviour as per documentation in this thread (dialogue has been opened - I have given you your chance to speak up and out - no one choose to take me up on my apology or explain their disdain????)
this very last thing not accomplished is the worst 
(actually the dispelling of other gay myths/misconceptions trumps this in the larger sense - but Rome wasn't built in a day right? - and for the record I have NOT made this my GAY-BIBLE THUMPING MISSION! lol! )
but the dialogue being left open and no one seeking the opportunity to privately, constructively and without fear of judgement - add some closure to their ill thoughts of me with me - tells me a few things by default.
1. No one feels this way about me and this is a conspiracy.....
(please, please be #1!!!!)
2. You enjoy being victimized.
3. Refuse to be free from the comfort that using this against me brings you.
4. We are not friends.
5. You would rather relish in petty gossip and be negative than use an opportunity to create praise and postiveness.
6. Made comments without thinking and therefor guilty by association.
7. Not ready to forget or even forgive.
8. And in all fairness - just not ready......??
I am sure all those who truly THINK about these last 7 points can see why I CANNOT let these control my heart/head ANYMORE than I have admitted to in this thread.
Sorry I am not mentally or emotionally up for it.
I have spent enough time trying to show everyone how WIKKID WIKKID I am.
|
I live in Maryland, and haven't been back to Ontario, or Toronto in a while. While I don't know you, we would likely be friends if I did. You are definately on of the more intelligent people on this forum when I read it.
As for here in Maryland. This state is far more open minded than in most of U.S., and in alot of EDM clubs here such as Cubik, and Glow while they are not labelled as Gay Clubs, the crowd is pretty much mixed, and problems rarely occour. I have alot of straight friends, and gay friends, and sexuality is not a criteria I use to determine who my friends are. Responsiblity, manners, and education are traits immune to sexuality. Alot of gay people in this area come from other countries, and parts of this country such as the redneck South, and possibly due to the abuse they got there, have low self esteem, and thus participate in self destructive activities such as reckless sex, and crystal meth ( alot of straight people do that as well ).
As for the people who talk alot of bullshit about "family values" in this country they are full of shit. Especially since they support a president that won't guarentee health care to every family in this country, and cut support to low income families. And when do you ever hear the Right Wingers crusage against Marital Infidelity, drug abuse, alcoholism, & child poverty. Alot of the people just use "family values" as an excuse for bigotry, and pick a few verses out of the bible to justify their actions, just as they did to justify their disdain for interracial relationships in the 1960s. In this day and time,especially in the South, gays have become the "******s" of today. No one in the right mind would walk up to a bunch of black people and call them that. And I think the reason alot of people pick on gays is simply because they are cowards and don't think they'll get their asses kicked, and yet sometimes they are wrong. In fact nearby in Arlington, Virginia there is even a gay gun club, and I really don't think anyone would walk up and call them a "fag".
One thing I notice lately is more of ignorant people getting made fun of, such as on websites such as www.landoverbaptist.org, and that the current right wing administration can't goovern any better than Brian Mulruney did. The Bush administration has abandoned almost every "family" in Lousiana, when it came time to step up to the plate. I think the U.S. is now about as right wing fundamentalist as it will ever get
|
