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For VST filter look at Ohmforce Frohmage (free), or Quad Frohmage for a more powerful one (like the name says, four filters, that you can link in several ways). Very good sounding (even better than the D-pole imo). Ohmforce really has great plugins, their delay is among the best I've heard in software.
As for Waves, they are excellent, but way overpriced (you did pay for them right  ). But they are not the only thing you can look at (I pretty much abandoned most of their plugs except of their compressors, and even then, I'm trying out new stuff). For eq try to look at Elemental Audio stuff. They got two eq's that are rock solid. Equium is more the workhorse EQ, while Firium is more for the surgical precision. They are easy to use and very good sounding (especially firium that is based on FIRF filters).
As for each instrument having it's place in the mix, it can't be more true. Too much producers are just stuffing too much useless stuff in their tunes, to fill up something missing. But they should spend more time finding out first if what's already there can't be made more interesting (90% of the time you have the feeling it's missing something, it's due to the fact that it's too simplistic or obvious, try spicing up things a little by adding some rhythm changes or something like that). In the end it only improve things, because at the mixing stage the tune will be able to "breathe" more. As there are not as much sounds fighting for the same space, they'll come out more clearly, punchy and usually the whole will sound better.
Now a general thing I always do (ok, I'm not making that much music, but it's a very widely used method in any audio application) is to EQ out every unneeded frequency of each channel/instrument, even if you can't hear it from the beginning, this has nothing to do with tayloring the sound, it just "reserves" each instrument to a particular frequency range. The only thing you need for this is a low pass and a high pass EQ, and usually even the ones from your host software suffice (so if you're using Cubase, use the channel EQ's from Cubase for that purpose).
How to proceed? For example, with the lowpass, just set the most steep cutoff you can, and slowly dial the cutoff frequency up until you start noticing a change in the sound. Then back off a little, just to the point that you didn't hear it (or if you want a little "coloration", back of a little so you still hear a change, but reduce the slope of the cutoff). Do the same on the other side of the frequency spectrum with the highpass. Even if you can't really hear major differences on the individual instruments it WILL make a difference in the mixing stage, guaranteed. Unfiltered, the instruments will contain frequencies you won't hear in the mix, but will fight for space, EQ'ing like this will solve a big deal of this. You'll deffinately will notice your mixes will breathe more, and balancing will usually be easier.
What if sounds (frequencies) overlap? This will happen, it's not possible to define discrete spaces for each instrument without any overlap, and if it would be possible, it would sound crap). But that's just the art of making sounds. Usually it's better to change a sound fundamentally instead of trying to EQ the shit out of it. Your aim is to make sounds that play together, but it's a very thin line sometimes between playing and clashing. And mastering that art is 30% talent, 70% listening carefully. That's it. You know, I learned from experience (and from school) that if you have to EQ more than 3db in a corrective way (so to fix stuff that doesn't work), it usually means there is something fundamentally wrong with how the sound was made or recorded. And if the money and time is there, it's always better to redo that sound until it fits, instead of trying to tweak the crap out of a so so one...
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