|
one day a dog was barking loudly at a tree stump and a car driven by jamie oliver runs the dog over. sobig bird jumps out and lays an egg and causes him to spill his coke all over his girlfriends bright purple dishwasher. the dog fly kicks jamie who kills the dog and serves it in a good marinade for big bird. suddenly the purple dishwasher transforms itself into Fidel Castro. whom at the time is driving an 20 wheeled kiyak along the motorway at 80 miles an hour.. castro stops gets out and asks some random bird how many pancakes would it take to cover the hubcap.. to which he answers none - as icecream has no chunky bits!
Then fidel casto takes out 3 cuban cigars. The first he jammed up jamie olivers wanky pompous english ass. He then jams 2 more up jamies nose. Jamie is now rolling around on the ground saying stupid shit like he always does. While saying anything the first thing that comes to his mind in his annoying shitty accent.
Fidel is laughing hysterically, and then says "IN COMMUNIST CUBA, CIGARS SMOKE YOU!".
20 minutes later, Castro lights a bushfire using his beard and a toothpick.
The fire spreads to Marilyn Monroe, who happened to be kissing a turtle at the time... a highway patrolman pulls up and asks castro what he is doing talking to a pole in his underpants to which he replies "im trying to find my way to little red riding hoods house"
the officer looks at him and laughs "man your obviously in the wrong place, cause im trying to take a shit here and your chest keeps getting in the way"
the policeman then teabags fidel who bites his nutsack off, and the policeman, not knowing that fidels nutsack was poisoness suddenly dies, then fidel ate the policemans nutsack... and to their surprise near the bush, marilyn monroe spots Buzz Aldrin teaching Michael Jackson how to do the real moonwalk, when suddenly Michael Jacksons nose turns into a hideous gelatinous monster!!!
(...god damn this is a fkn wicked story!)
|
