I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more [insert thing ur talking about]...like cowbell, or beer, or fap fap fap.

I'm gonna take off like a prom dress.

well suck me sideways, thats great.

she's so fat she fell in love & broke it.

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someone make me a sig, i'm too lazy

Well slap me with a silly costume and call me Po, it's [insert name here]

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"Wenn du dich zum Untergrund zählst, reicht es nicht, es nur zu sagen. Du musst auch viel graben, um es zu werden."

shits and giggles

Some mother******s are always trying to ice-skate uphill

Best one liner ever

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one's I have come to use over the years:

"That's about as funny as loosing your wallet."

"I'm sweating like a paedophile in a nursery."

"Your about as cool Pat Sharp in an oven."

"Your about as attractive as 2 positively charged magnets."

I've got a nine inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears.

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~ Under the spell of a 303 ~

All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.

If you've ever been in the military, you'd know about the 6inch rule, as part of anti-harassment issues...... and so...

"6 inch rule... 12 inch tool."

others I've used:

"may i have a sip of your tasty beverage to wash this down?"

"what the whojemafuck?"

"excuse me while I go feed my ant-colony"

"do you have shit for brains? because I smell poo"

"get off your ass, make like a fuck and hand yourself"

"yuck fou"

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'-.SgtFoo.-'
My SoundCloud

That was about as funny/interesting/smart as my left nut.

Strong as an ox and half as smart.

Strong as a boot and half as tasty [when referring to bad coffee, whisky, etc.]

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My party schedule:
2009-02-21 - DJ Attention @ I'm So Popular
2009-06-18 - DJ Annoying @ People Need To Know Where I'll Be
2012-11-32 - DJ Insufferable ɸ Or At Least the Stalkers I Complain About
2048-06-66 - Spastic & Whocares ¶ Although I'm Actually Flattered
9999-45-81 - Tweaker Gimp ☼ I Probably Won't Even Go To This But I Have To Make Sure I Fill Up All The Available Space Here

that sod is so dumb, he couldnt pour piss out of a shoe with the instructions printed on the sole.

if i wanted to be bored shitless, id watch brookside.

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Found Atlantis - Mixography [mix archive/mokumentary/my soul]?
i writed a song.

It ain't much if it ain't Dutch

Suck me, beautiful!

Will you control your life, or will your life control you?

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Even if you can not hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear