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Renegade
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Registered: May 2001
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
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Pretty much anything Duffman says is comic gold.
"Time to give this brown patch a little H200000. OH YEAH!"
"Duffman says a lotta things. OH YEAH!"
"New. Emotion. Rising. Within. Duffman. What. Would. Jesus. Do?"
"Duff Beer wholeheartedly supports the designated driver program..... now who wants to get DRUNK!?"
"Duffman is thrusting in the general direction of the problem."
"Duffman.... can't breathe.... OH NO!"
"Duffman's pension has been mismanaged..... OH YEAH!"
Other quotes:
Homer: Will you kids be quiet, I can't hear myself think.
Homer's Brain: *I want some peanuts*
Homer: That's better.
Bart: Yeah mom, these uniforms suck.
Marge: Where on Earth did you pick up language like that?
Homer: Yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I mean I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
Admiral: What do you want most Homer?
Homer: I.... want.... peas!
Admiral: We all want peace but how do we get peace?
Homer: With a knife!
Admiral: Ah, not with the olive branch but the bayonet! Homer you're like the son I never had.
Homer: And you're like the father I never visit....
Lionel Hutz: Uh oh... we've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly,' and the word 'dog' with 'son.
Lionel Hutz: Anyone care to join me in a snifter of scotch?
Marge: It's 9.30 in the morning!
Lionel Hutz: Yeah, but I haven't slept in days. Last chance?
Bart: Take him away boys!
Cheif Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief here, I get to say that! Bake him away toys!
Black Cop: What'd you just say chief?
Cheif Wiggum: ...... just do what the kid says.
Homer: See I got this friend named Joey Joe-Joe Junior.... Shabbadoo?
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
*man runs crying out of bar*
Barney: Hey, Joey Joe-Joe!
Ralph: Hi Lisa, hi super-nintendo Chalmers! I'm learn-ding!
Homer: With $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all sorts of useful things.... like love.
Sideshow Bob: No, no, no. "Die, Bart, Die" is German for "The Bart.... the".
Juror: No one who speaks German could ever be evil - let's let him go!
Chalmers: Seymour, is your kitchen on fire?
Skinner: No that's just..... aurora borealis.
Chalmers: Aurora borealis?
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: At this time of day, at this time of year, on this part of the planet, LOCALISED ENTIRELY IN YOUR KITCHEN!?
Skinner: Why yes.
Chalmers: ...... can I see it?
Skinner: Um, no.
Dr Nick: C'mon Nick, think back to Med School.....
Young Dr Nick: Sure baby, I can prescribe anything I want!
Bart: Dad, what's a muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man.... *laughs*. So to answer your question I don't know.
Mr Burns: Smithers, are they booing me?
Smithers: No, they're saying "Boooourns, Boooourns"!
Mr. Burns: Are you saying "boo" or "booourns"?
*crowd boos and starts throwing stuff*
Hans Moleman: I was saying Booourns....
Bart: Hey, back off Jack!
Rich Kid: The name.... is Jackington!
Smither: Sir, I'm afraid we have an image problem. People see you as something of an ogre.
Mr Burns: Why I ought to club them and eat their bones!
Marge: Homer, what are you doing with all those bowling balls?
Homer: *sigh* I'm not gonna lie to you Marge...... well, goodnight.
Miss Hoover: You know I'd never heard of the word "embiggened" before I moved to Springfield....
Edna: Really? It's a perfectly cromulent word....
Bart: We could burn them out?
Marge: No fires!
Lisa: On the other hand, fire would....
Marge: No fires!
Homer: I got it!
Marge: No fires!
Homer: Oh.... wait, I got it! Fire! *silence* Or.....
Police Answering Service: Hello, you have reached the Springfield Police Squad rescue phone! If you know the name of the phelony being committed, press one! ..... You have selected..... Regicide! If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one....
And from the "Behind the Laughter" episode (maybe the best one ever):
Announcer: The dream was over. Coming up next, was the dream really over? Yes it was. Or was it?
Homer: The fame was like a drug. But was even more like a drug were the drugs.
Grandpa: Homer isn't a communist! He may be a liar, a cheat, a pervert, a communist.... but my son is not a porn-star!
Homer: Like I tried to tell you, I thought the cop was a prostitute!
___________________
http://eschatonnow.blogspot.com/
Last edited by Renegade on Dec-03-2003 at 18:30
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 Dec-03-2003 17:34 
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webmeister
beats that go thump
Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Sydney Australia
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Dec-03-2003 23:10 
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-=M=-
Feelin' Bricky?
Registered: Mar 2003
Location: Melbourne, Aus
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Moe: As hard as it is to believe, some people don't care for me, neither
Homer: (shaking head) No, i wont accept that
Moe: No, it's true. I got their names written down right here, in what i call my uh... "enemies list"
Barney: (taking the list and reading it) Jane Fonda, Daniel Schorr, Jack Anderson.... Hey, this is Richard Nixon's enemiest list! You just crossed out his name and put yours!
Lisa: Can i go downstairs and see what Dad's doing?
Marge: I wouldnt bother him, honey. He's making some kind of model for a contest. He says its really high-tech stuff that we wouldnt understand.
(Homer sticks his head in the kitchen)
Homer: Marge, do we have any elbow macaroni and glue-on sparkles?
Lisa: Oh Grampa, you're not busy are you?
Grampa: Well, you're really asking two questions there. The first one takes me back to 1934. Admiral Byrd had just reached the Pole, only hours ahead of the Three Stooges...
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Dec-04-2003 03:00
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