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Originally posted by SmackdowN The long distance relationships don't work at all. If you're young just have fun, go out and enjoy being single. Don't worry about trying to chase a long distancer just to realize that it's not going to work. Heache though if you have really really strong feelings for the person then all the power to ya. I have just found though that instead of the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" its more like "out of sight, out of mind". These are just my experiences though. Good luck to you!

I totally hear ya smackdown, I do have pretty strong feelings (surprisingly) for this girl, and I wouldn't be making an effort if I didn't really like her. The thing is, there is a slim chance that she might come down and get an apartment near me if her job down here comes through in the fall. So I'm really hoping for that, if it doesn't happen, then I'll just let it flow, if it works then good, if it doesn't work, oh well, good experience.

ID

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Ya I guess it's really all you can do is just see what happens then since you really do like her. I recently have had to break up with a girl I lived with for 8 months cuz she can't handle a long distance relationship although she never even tried it. hehe so i am kind of bitter but oh well. If she moves out that would obviously be the best scenario . Hey good luck to you man.

I've had 4 long distance relationships, (i travel the world a lot and meet a lot of girls.....), and let me tell you something, they can be so sweet sometimes.... (the highs are high, but the lows are low)...

in the end, i'd say they really don't work (they can only work for so long....) they always start out strong, because of the absence makes the heart grow fonder thing (all you think about are the good times and good traits...).. but after awhile, it gets expensive, and causes more heartaches than anything else...

it just gets expensive with the long distance phone calls, plane tickets and/or gas for car travel, lots of time, etc.... at first you are keeping in contact all the time, so it feels great and such, but towards the end, the communication gets less and less, then suspicions arise as to why she isn't calling as often or sending letters... truth be told, time breaks all long distance bonds i feel... your imagination WILL run away with you as far as to what she is doing up there.. why hasn't she called??? etc, etc, etc...

really it all depends on the girl and situation i guess... i mean, if you found your soulmate, then thats a different story. but just some girl who is hot and smart or something... rare, but not necessarily life-dedication material here. i wouldn't move to be with her... you gotta test out the waters first my friend! (she could turn out to be a total psycho you know!)

just have fun with it, but just dont fall head-over-heels for her, you could end up being wounded emotionally.

-der ABT-

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Peace.

Oh yeah, i forgot to mention one of the main problems i've had in the past....

when you have these long distance relationships, you are telling everyone around you that you are "taken" or whatever word you use.... (and this has happened to me before), there probably is a girl that likes you (a good one, too), and she never talks to you because she hears you are "taken".... so if you do do the long distance thing, dont tell any of your friends around where you are, b/c you dont want to take yourself off the market... you never know where Miss Right could be my friend!

-der ABT-

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Peace.

Very good call. I've been with a psycho and let me tell you it fucked me up bad. Was very emotionally disturbing hehe

When its love, distance isn't an issue.
No obstacle is.

true, caroline,
but don't you think that so many people are blinded by beauty or infatuation to even realize that it isn't love? i've seen this every day. i feel the word "love" gets thrown around too loosely, that the actual meaning doesn't mean anything anymore. but thats my opinion

cheers,

-der ABT-

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Peace.

I think that we as a society are way too quick to sy the words "I love you" I think that people feel that it is love just cuz there are butterflies in their stomache. Over the past 4 years I have had 4 girlfriends, all of which I said I love you too. But as soon as each was gone I realised it was not love at all. It has in a way affected me so that I now am going to be a little more careful with the word. Just keep an open mind and everything will take its course. Do you think that people who beat their wives love them? sure they say they do but I can't see how you can hurt something you love?? Society is f@#ked up

very true, very true....

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Peace.

I don't believe in long-distance relationships.
I think that in order for a relationship to be successful and great, both of you should be physically close to each other, all the time... That way you'll spend more time together, learn more about each other, and get used to being together.

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I'm in a long distance relationship that works very very well, it's been 1 year and a half now
I live in France and her in Detroit (i think i beat the distance record of 800 mille )

So for those who say LD relationships can't work...just say that they don't or migft not work for you, don't generalize because that can work perfectly fine

My girlfriend and I are so much in love, i've been one month over her house last summer in the US, and she came to France this year and stayed 2 months and a half...it was so wonderful..
And she just left today....it's so hard...i feel so bad...but we know it's so much worth it, because we intend to marry next year and i'll move to the US

So LD relationships are always possible, only your love and your devotion for this other person count, and it's so rewarding...

I precise that we met online too, but LD relationships that start online are also possible, see ?

quote:

Originally posted by Ibiza Dreams Wow dude, 3 years at 800 miles, that's pretty admirable or pretty crazy! How often did you see her/visit her, you go by plane/car? It just seems tough to have a serious relationship this way since one main part of it is committment, and if you're so far away, how can you do that? I can really see the frustration in the future if me and her end up working everything out, but hey, at least it'll be fun while it lasts. ID

We both flew wenever we visited each other, but even then it was never really more than a week at a time every couple of months. It was tough just being apart. I had no problem with the committment, she was/is a reallly special person. But yea, the frustration definitely catches up.