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I take my trance with me everywhere I go, except when I go running. When running I need to listen to slow emotional tunes that don't get me excited, that way I can better control my energy expenditure while I'm going long distances. But then someone may ask why I just don't run without any music. Well I'd probably have better focus, which would probably make me do better, but it's not as fun, and I enjoy externalizing my emotions this way. But when nearing the finish mark I like to switch from easy listening to loud rock music, which allows me to mentally energize myself and help suppress the pain and fatigue. It's really a lot of mental endurance that gets one past that point of no return. What are you trying to prove, I ask myself. I'm trying to prove that I can win, that I'm in control, that I'm better than last time, that I'm continually progressing, that I cannot be beat, that I will not be beat, that I'm going to survive this life, I'm going to make it through that narrow gate to eternal salvation, that although I'm beaten and torn and wanting to stop, I'm going to cross that gate and make God look with favor upon me, because it's not just about vanity, at least not towards the end of your running battle, where it's about finding something outside yourself that you know to be your ultimate driving force, be it a projection of your pursuit of your life's goals and dreams, or perhaps an extremely deep emotional attachment to some object that you live for and that inspires you beyond anything else, but whatever it is it's what matters most to you, it's what you cannot disappoint lest you lose it, and you couldn't live with that. So that brief run is on another level a microcosm of your life's continuous battle for reaching the end game and winning it.
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