quote:

Originally posted by Kamikaze Badger Ok, not too long ago, I was trying to cut my wrists, as I felt my life sucked. My GF managed to talk me out of it though. She told me to get help. Does anyone know anywhere?

Are you in school? At most schools, there are counselors who can help you find the help you need.

If you are not a student or if you are not comfortable discussing this with a counselor, you could call your county Mental Health organization and ask them to direct you. If your county doesn't have a Mental Health organization, go to this website and click the "Find Support" link.

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter Hehehe it's all good. Yeah that's true. I actually tend to believe they all are capable of it, but it's a big obstacle you have to overcome. My brother used to go to therapy all the time when he was younger, and he finally started recovering from his depression after he quit. But different things work for different people. I don't mean to tell this guy not to try talking to people, but you have to ask yourself if it's really helping or not after a few months, and if it's not, you shouldn't just go because "it's the thing to do." What most people who are depressed or have other psychological conditions seem to do is look for reinforcement that their life is as bad as they think it is, and as long as they stay in that frame of mind there isn't much that can be done to help them. There isn't really much you can say to them to change it though, its a personal decision more than anything else. That's why I always try to encourage them to look within for support as much as possible. There's nothing wrong with getting a little help, but you don't want to become reliant on it either. The problem is that they usually don't want to hear it because they've already solidified themselves in the mindset of being helpless, and they're looking for the easy way out when they go to therapy or start taking some type of drugs.

very true.

I usually go the route of getting them to help...then encouraging recovery. That way if they do slip back the counselor can be there for that.

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter My brother has Aspergers and he does just fine. There are plenty of people who live normal, happy, and productive lives with that condition. There's no reason you can't too - all you need to do is believe in yourself and to stop making excuses.

Wow, okay, I'll be the first person to say that AS people can pull through without much or any professional help, and I'm always a firm advocate of not making excuses, but I think you're taking it too far with a comment like that. I mean, that's quack psychology in itself: "just believe in yourself."

Your brother may have it but unless you have it, you don't understand. Would you tell an autistic person to just "get over it?" No, so you wouldn't tell an Aspie that either. The two conditions are very closely related. Yes it is possible to deal with, and psychiatry is not necessary in all cases, but I liken it to writing a computer program without knowing the syntax. It's a constant state of having to guess and speculate, which inevitably leads to overanalyzing, not spotting the simple mistakes, and generally worrying that you're going to fuck something up huge. I wish that I'd been able (and willing) to get more help when I was little, it would have sped up progress as an adult.

Of course you learn eventually, but a lot slower than most people do. So Arbiter, don't tell people who have an issue like that to just deal with it and stop making excuses just because your brother managed to - you can use your fingernails to turn a screw but it's still a constant pain in the ass when compared with a decent set of tools.

Kamikaze Badger, I'm sure you've found out by now that it's incredibly difficult to find people who understand, but since you've got a g/f, you know that there are some people who do. Just make it your goal to overcome it, and instead of pitying yourself, pity the people who have no purpose in life and no concept of self-improvement. And just try to mingle as often as possible, even if it seems like a waste of time - things get better with a lot of patience. At least, they did for me.

___________________
My party schedule:
2009-02-21 - DJ Attention @ I'm So Popular
2009-06-18 - DJ Annoying @ People Need To Know Where I'll Be
2012-11-32 - DJ Insufferable ɸ Or At Least the Stalkers I Complain About
2048-06-66 - Spastic & Whocares ¶ Although I'm Actually Flattered
9999-45-81 - Tweaker Gimp ☼ I Probably Won't Even Go To This But I Have To Make Sure I Fill Up All The Available Space Here

quote:

Originally posted by DigiNut Wow, okay, I'll be the first person to say that AS people can pull through without much or any professional help, and I'm always a firm advocate of not making excuses, but I think you're taking it too far with a comment like that. I mean, that's quack psychology in itself: "just believe in yourself." Your brother may have it but unless you have it, you don't understand. Would you tell an autistic person to just "get over it?" No, so you wouldn't tell an Aspie that either. The two conditions are very closely related. Yes it is possible to deal with, and psychiatry is not necessary in all cases, but I liken it to writing a computer program without knowing the syntax. It's a constant state of having to guess and speculate, which inevitably leads to overanalyzing, not spotting the simple mistakes, and generally worrying that you're going to fuck something up huge. I wish that I'd been able (and willing) to get more help when I was little, it would have sped up progress as an adult. Of course you learn eventually, but a lot slower than most people do. So Arbiter, don't tell people who have an issue like that to just deal with it and stop making excuses just because your brother managed to - you can use your fingernails to turn a screw but it's still a constant pain in the ass when compared with a decent set of tools.

You're right. My comment didn't really convey what I was trying to say...

I didn't mean to imply that it was easy to overcome or that he should "just get over it." It's just that frequently people overemphasize getting help from external sources and ultimately hinder their own recovery by reinforcing their (misguided) feelings of self-deficiency.

It's fine to seek help from other people, but only so long as you aren't totally abandoning the idea that you're capable of supporting yourself. Aspergers is a difficult condition to deal with, and you're right that I can't really understand the feeling itself. However, like any challenge in life, it's easier to deal with if you can maintain a positive frame of mind. Obviously, that's something that Kamikaze Badger is having trouble with right now.

I was merely trying to encourage him to have a little more self-confidence, but I ended up coming off as condescending which was bad on my part. Maybe one day I'll get better at this sort of thing.

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter You're right. My comment didn't really convey what I was trying to say... I didn't mean to imply that it was easy to overcome or that he should "just get over it." It's just that frequently people overemphasize getting help from external sources and ultimately hinder their own recovery by reinforcing their (misguided) feelings of self-deficiency. It's fine to seek help from other people, but only so long as you aren't totally abandoning the idea that you're capable of supporting yourself. Aspergers is a difficult condition to deal with, and you're right that I can't really understand the feeling itself. However, like any challenge in life, it's easier to deal with if you can maintain a positive frame of mind. Obviously, that's something that Kamikaze Badger is having trouble with right now. I was merely trying to encourage him to have a little more self-confidence, but I ended up coming off as condescending which was bad on my part. Maybe one day I'll get better at this sort of thing.

Ah, point taken and sorry for the misunderstanding. I've been trying to avoid arguments (and TA in general), but that sub-topic sort of hit home for me and I felt the need to comment.

I understand what you're saying of course, and I'm sure, so does KB. I guess to give a different perspective though, I might say that in my case, I never really made any progress *until* I could admit that I wouldn't be able to do it all on my own. In fact I think it's a trait among most AS cases to think that there is really nothing wrong with them, that everything is just wrong with the rest of the world. I know everybody thinks that sometimes, but it's different when, for 15 years or more, you're actually not aware of the fact that the rest of the world views things differently. So I would say, getting help is a good step to take with AS because it forces a person to actually admit the problem, understand it, confront it. It's the type of problem that requires other people to help solve because the problem by its nature relates to other people.

I overanalyze, and I've been told that's another characteristic trait. Sometimes it's hard to maintain a positive frame of mind when you are subconsciously picking everything to pieces and finding every little problem. It can be a great asset in some situations (like engineering ), but the inability to "turn it off" makes it very detrimental in other situations (like socializing in a big group).

Anyway, that's just my attempt to elucidate on the problem that KB was describing because I think a lot of people don't quite realize what it is. Your advice is good (and pretty much the same advice I would give for any other problem) but not always possible to follow. I'll admit that I fantasized a few times about just ending it, but then it occurred to me, that would be letting "them" win.

Hope this hits it for a few people out there. I sympathize with all of you who, as we say, "just don't get it." Cheers.


P.S. Sorry for the stupidly long post.

___________________
My party schedule:
2009-02-21 - DJ Attention @ I'm So Popular
2009-06-18 - DJ Annoying @ People Need To Know Where I'll Be
2012-11-32 - DJ Insufferable ɸ Or At Least the Stalkers I Complain About
2048-06-66 - Spastic & Whocares ¶ Although I'm Actually Flattered
9999-45-81 - Tweaker Gimp ☼ I Probably Won't Even Go To This But I Have To Make Sure I Fill Up All The Available Space Here