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Asshole - Denis Leary (Spoken) Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream. About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know. (Sung) I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job. I'm your average white suburbanite slob. I like football and porno and books about war. I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor. My wife and my job, my kids and my car. My feet on my table...and a cuban cigar. But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested no way No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane, While people behind me are going insane. I'm an asshole I'm an asshole I use public toilets and I piss on the seat, I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?" I'm an asshole I'm an asshole Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces, While handicapped people make handicapped faces. I'm an asshole I'm an asshole Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song Ranting and raving and carrying on Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong... NAAAAH! I'm an asshole I'm an asshole (Spoken) Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado Convertible, hot pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth on the American Flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why Two words: Nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a big democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead, he's frozen! And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Lee Marvin and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of whisky and drive to Texas...HEY, HEY HEY! Why don't you shut up and sing the song, pal? (Sung) I'm an asshole I'm an asshole A S-S H-O L-E Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf Thoomph A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom Oooooooo (Spoken) I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it

Its times like these that make me feel like an American and not some European immigrant

This is what GWAR speaks about being "Americanized" (ca. 1989)

I'm Americanized.
9 (nine) tons o' crack a day.
It's up my butt, the USA
All you people will worship us--
You worship me, but still you suck...
U.S.A.--I'm Americanized
U.S.A.--(I'm the Prince of Lies)

I'm Americanized.
Death to all who wear paisley,
plucking babies' heads like daisies.
Your world is filled with hate and filth.
I'll rape your dog with a plow...
Drugs unt guns, drugs and guns.
C'mon man, let's go kill someone.
Cheap f@%kers, sheep f@%kers,
You're all cheap f@%kers...


I think occrider agrees with it a bit lol.


MrS

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-"Reality" is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.

If it wasn't for Jerry Springer I'd hate americans

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Americans are assholes who stereotype, generalize, and pre-judge others.

good observation. ive been to some chat rooms, usually Yahoo! Chat (European Chat). americans always come in, and start bashing the entire world. saying how superior they are. how if america and europe went to war, america would kick europes ass, and how stupid the world is, and how great america is. nothing but bullshit.

DID U KNOW 64% OF AMERICAN WOMEN ARE OVERWEIGHT OR OBESE?? 56% FOR MEN. ONLY 12% OF ALL AMERICANS ARE PHYSICALLY FIT AND MAINTAIN HEALTHY HABITS. 42% MAINTAIN AN IDEAL WEIGHT, AND THE REST ARE GETTING FATTER BY THE DAY AS THEY SHOVE BIGMAC AFTER BIGMAC IN THEIR MOUTHS. OH THEN, THEY WANT TO ORDER A DIET COKE. U KNOW U GOTTA WATCH YOUR WEIGHT...

i dunno, ive been here for 5 monthes now, and i have to say. i did have a stereotype of americans. of their arrogant bahavior and stupidity of world affairs. basically i was right on both my stereotypes, because in my school, nobody gives a shit about their politics, the election of the new president, or whats going in the world. some people dont know who blair is, and ive heard some people mix saddam hussein and osama bin laden up. thinking osama was the leader of irak. ironically, these same people dont even know where irak is. and this is widespread. isnt just a few people. its the general attitude i find in the school i go to.

LASTLY!! AMERICANS ARE FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Originally posted by Heinz good observation. ive been to some chat rooms, usually Yahoo! Chat (European Chat). americans always come in, and start bashing the entire world. saying how superior they are. how if america and europe went to war, america would kick europes ass, and how stupid the world is, and how great america is. nothing but bullshit. DID U KNOW 64% OF AMERICAN WOMEN ARE OVERWEIGHT OR OBESE?? 56% FOR MEN. ONLY 12% OF ALL AMERICANS ARE PHYSICALLY FIT AND MAINTAIN HEALTHY HABITS. 42% MAINTAIN AN IDEAL WEIGHT, AND THE REST ARE GETTING FATTER BY THE DAY AS THEY SHOVE BIGMAC AFTER BIGMAC IN THEIR MOUTHS. OH THEN, THEY WANT TO ORDER A DIET COKE. U KNOW U GOTTA WATCH YOUR WEIGHT... i dunno, ive been here for 5 monthes now, and i have to say. i did have a stereotype of americans. of their arrogant bahavior and stupidity of world affairs. basically i was right on both my stereotypes, because in my school, nobody gives a shit about their politics, the election of the new president, or whats going in the world. some people dont know who blair is, and ive heard some people mix saddam hussein and osama bin laden up. thinking osama was the leader of irak. ironically, these same people dont even know where irak is. and this is widespread. isnt just a few people. its the general attitude i find in the school i go to. LASTLY!! AMERICANS ARE FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

** Heinz, the post wasn't about fat people you dumbass. Second of all our school does care about politics. You just don't know because you just arrived here. You stereotype our school. Yes there are bitches in first period, there is in any period. You of all people ....

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Originally posted by trancepixie17 ** Heinz, the post wasn't about fat people you dumbass. Second of all our school does care about politics. You just don't know because you just arrived here. You stereotype our school. Yes there are bitches in first period, there is in any period. You of all people ....

i dunno, my school only cares about politics if it supports the united states. none of that controversy stuff.

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Originally posted by josh4 since people from all over the world frequent these forums i thought i'd throw this out. ive never really been outside the US but ive heard that most places, especially europe, dont like us very much. is this true, what do u think of americans? like ive heard numerous times that they hate americans in france

I dont think america is good for Electronic Music, trust them to exploit, harrasse it and then continue to run it in the ground till everyone and there dog thinks its "cool", in a few years all the lil teeny boppers will be pumpin it in there bedrooms when they are gettin ready for school, for all i know it is likely that way allready. It is this way due to corperate america, and everyone wanting a buck or 2, thats the way I feel and my opinion. Americans dont bother flamming me back, i have absolutely no personal problems with americans.

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Originally posted by josh4 since people from all over the world frequent these forums i thought i'd throw this out. ive never really been outside the US but ive heard that most places, especially europe, dont like us very much. is this true, what do u think of americans? like ive heard numerous times that they hate americans in france

I remember on the news that americans were pouring out french wine because France did not support the US in their war against Iraq. So i guess thats why they hate the US, cant blame em. Im sure they loved you guys before as they gave you the statue of liberty

If you dont want people to hate you, dont interfere with other country's politics and issues unless they ask, dont start wars with other nations.

Generally american people are pretty cool. I really dont see much of a cultural difference between canadian and americans.

Most nations probably just hate your current government.

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Originally posted by dj_Vendetta I dont think america is good for Electronic Music...

i could not have said it better myself. The only electronica anyone hears is the shit on the ONE electronica radiostation (excluding rap). All it plays is cheesy dance: IVD, shitty 80s music, etc.

I don't hate Americans. Then again, I don't like them either.

Nah, there are stupid Americans, just as there are stupid Australians, and stupid Europeans. I would much prefer to live her than in the US, primarily because I think our junior and secondary school system is better, and I don't think I could take the amount or religious rubbish that tends to creep it's way into the government in America. I have exactly the same amount of freedom here as I would in the US, probably more. That being said, I would much prefer to live in the US than in Africa, Asia (Japan excluded) or the Middle East.

Meh, a smart American is a smart American, and a stupid American is a stupid American.

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quote:

Originally posted by Heinz ive been to some chat rooms, usually Yahoo! Chat

Well that was your first mistake...

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Coming from a german stand-point, Americans are very fat. Also lazy because of just driving cars everywhere and not walking at all, even if the destination is close to the starting point. But also you have to realize, the only real american culture the germans learn comes from the TV (soaps, ER, etc.) and from films. Also Heinz was right (omg I'm agreeing with Heinz, that rare) that most americans don't have any idea about politics. Here if you ask most anyone about politics (from about 14 up) they will at least have a basic knowledge and have a firm opinion. But yeah, there are good americans and bad americans.