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HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That's absolutely horrifying. Sounds exactly like something i'd see in the x-files.
I found info about this urban legend here:
http://www.google.com/search?q=cach...ci+snopes&hl=en[/url]
check it out!!
| quote: | Origins: After scanning this little piece of junior high school scatology, we truly hope we will "read [only] one disgusting story this year." Unfortunately, it's only January, so our chances of success are dim.
What else can one say but someone had too much time on his hands? The silly little gem quoted above appeared on the Internet in January 2000. It combines the bestial impregnation motif of the "woman impregnated with octopus eggs" with the "animal used as masturbatory toy" motif of the gerbil tale. The kinky masturbation theme from the "girl and the hot dog" tale gets worked into the mix, too. As usual, we have a detail indicating homosexuality -- "the medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR" -- because we all know from similar tales that no woman ever masturbates unless she can't (or won't) find a real man to pleasure her. (This same notion is found in the legend about the woman, her dog, and some peanut butter.)
Considering the deviance of the fictitional woman's crime, it's no wonder the author of the piece has her die. Considering his writing skills, we think it's a shame he didn't pen a similar ending for himself.
The "writer" at least managed to include a few details in his piece (i.e., the woman's name and home town), but that's about all he got right in terms of credibility. The narrative has a few glaring plotting errors:
Ms. DaLucci (assuming that is her name, since three different spellings of her surname appear in the text) "held a lighter under the creature's face" while she was "lying in a tub"? Does she carry a cigarette lighter that works underwater, or was she sitting with a live lobster in a bathtub empty of water? (It's not an experiment we'd be so cruel as to perform, but we doubt a lobster placed in a dry tub and burned in the face with a lighter would provide very many minutes' worth of "pleasure" for anyone.)
We're told that the dying woman made "the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard," and we're told about what she felt and thought -- she "woke up with a painful need to urinate," "at first she thought she had diarrhea," "she realized that it was urinary pain" -- yet she was clearly alone in the house at the time (neighbors hear her screams and called the police) and was unconscious when paramedics reached her. (There's no indication she ever regained consciousness and explained herself, since we're also told only what the "medical police" believed had occurred rather than anything they learned from questioning the victim.)
Mud shrimp (corophium volutator) are critters about half a centimeter long. They can reach populations of 63,000 per square meter in optimal conditions. They exist only in Canada's Bay of Fundy and serve as food for sandpipers.
As well, brine shrimp take a day to hatch, not two. They also won't hatch out in anything less than extremely salty water, a substance not found in a woman's vagina. It also takes more than salty water and eggs to bring about hatching -- exposure to light within the first few hours of incubation is key. Brine shrimp growers recommend the eggs be exposed to a light source throughout incubation. Constant aeration (bubbling) is also necessary to provide sufficient oxygen levels for the eggs to hatch, this is also not a condition found in a woman's vagina. |
Last edited by goodnet on Aug-15-2001 at 21:55
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