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Inertia
yes.

Registered: Jul 2002
Location: Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic
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Re: my girlfriend and her ex - need some advice plz
| quote: | Originally posted by Grendel
hi guys
Great site here! I have been lurking here for a while and I just finally found reason enough to post. Sorry if it is another girl thread.
My Girlfriend went out with a guy for years when she was about 17/18 in highschool who fucked her up real bad (she is now 24, I am 25) - telling her to quit smoking and to either choose smoking or him blah blah etc then she broke it off with him and didn't talk to him for years. Early last year she got together with him and told him how much he hurt her back than and he had no idea and apologised (he had a girl at the time, she was still single)
Ok, now I've been dating this girl since a few months after that and everything has been great.On Sunday she mentions how there was some antismoking thing on tv and it got her thinking to quit. Then she brought up the story of how this ex used to be so hard on her to quit and all that stuff.. Now, yesterday, she is online and she tells me he came online to talk to her, to say that he was putting together a photo scrapbook and found pics of him and her and got to remembering stuff and just wanted to tell her (again) how sorry he was for hurting her. She tells me how nice this makes her feel.
I then ask why he would find it necessary to apologize again & remind her this much later unless he really still had feelings for her or whatever? That whole photo scrapbook thing seems like a sham to me, I don't know him so I cannot judge - but it seems a bit too coincidental. She then says for me to believe her that he didn't mean it like that to which I then start asking her to look at it objectively and she says she can't and that I'm overreacting and not respecting her feelings and trying to ruin it for her or something.
Of course jealousy plays a role in this but I wasn't saying for her not to talk to him or anything - just questioning his motives.. Now she says I hurt her feelings and she is being all quiet on me.
Am I overreacting? |
if i were in your shoes, id just beat him at his own game. you have not overreacted, but she sees it that way. youve hurt her. so apologize. buy her flowers or something, go to her house, hug her, tell her you weren't aware of your actions, and that even though you may not share her opinion, you have to respect it, and to please forgive you. tell her you trust her, and trust is what you base your relationship on.
that dude will be small potatoes next to you 
EDIT: also, id keep an eye on the situation fro afar. whatever he does, just top it. not that hard to do. if she's really worth it, he won't be much competition anwyays.
___________________
check out my guest mix for OndaSonora Podcast (aug.2009)
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Mar-24-2004 03:19
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ChemEnhanced
ƒ¶ƒåƒÓƒÛƒnƒéƒßƒåƒnƒÚƒÕƒÞƒ

Registered: Mar 2005
Location: Milton, ON Canada
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Re: Re: my girlfriend and her ex - need some advice plz
| quote: | Originally posted by Inertia
if i were in your shoes, id just beat him at his own game. you have not overreacted, but she sees it that way. youve hurt her. so apologize. buy her flowers or something, go to her house, hug her, tell her you weren't aware of your actions, and that even though you may not share her opinion, you have to respect it, and to please forgive you. tell her you trust her, and trust is what you base your relationship on.
that dude will be small potatoes next to you 
EDIT: also, id keep an eye on the situation fro afar. whatever he does, just top it. not that hard to do. if she's really worth it, he won't be much competition anwyays. |
+1
Let's be honest...the only reason he is even talking to her is in hopes of getting laid. All he is going to do is feed off the emotions she is feeling right now and play the friend thing and bring up all the great times they had. Unfortunately, like most women she is probably too trusting and actually believes that this guy just wants to be friends. I can't think of many guys who actually start talking to a girl and hang out with a girl because they want to be friends....guys start hanging out with women in hopes to get laid. For girls...they love having male friends...and I bet most women here have more male friends then female friends. A male friend can give you all the comforts of a relationship but you can still go out and bang all the hot guys you want.
___________________
| quote: | | Scott has been introduced to the rave scene, and Ecstasy, by Craig. The two of them go out on the weekends, with some of Craigs friends, and stay up all night, dancing in a drug-fueled trance. |
Last edited by Moral Hazard on Apr-26-2011 at 07:48
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Sep-20-2005 04:18
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Mr. Pink
Furiously Happy

Registered: Dec 2003
Location: Atlanta, bitchezzz
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Bonjourno!
as much as everyone might bash a relationship thread, i f0kin love them!
Ok well, my opinion:
Listen if she's been torn up about something her whole life...and now things seem to be coming to terms with that, of course she will feel nice. 
maybe all that baggage she had is now mending itself.
Now, I can't predict what she will do. Will she just appreciate it for what its worth, moving on and finally having a real relationship, a whole relationship (with you hopefully). ORrrrrr, and its what you're fearing.....Will she be happy that he is apologizing, see it as a possible attempt that he is reaching out to her, and she will take it....therein leaving you 
You can't predict that. Either way, what is best for her.....
think about that.
also think, how is your relationship revolving around this?
I say, before you mention anything to her again....assess yourself before you assess her.
Is she who you want to be with?
If yer just chillin and wasting your time, and she's a great lay....meh ok, ride it out, and just make sure to bang her a few hundred times
Otherwise, if its love........fight the good fight 
___________________
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Sep-20-2005 04:26
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Xenocreator_PG_
Got goat?

Registered: Jul 2004
Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: ERROR!
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Mar-23-2004 21:11
| quote: | Originally posted by Mr. Pink
yep!
relax
she's playing some BS with you
plus you might just want to chill.
jealousy just means you care, make sure she knows that.
the thing about jealousy is it makes people feel suffocated, or unfree. whateva
all you need to do is fark her good tonight and it'll be chillin |
| quote: | Originally posted by Mr. Pink
Bonjourno!
as much as everyone might bash a relationship thread, i f0kin love them!
Ok well, my opinion:
Listen if she's been torn up about something her whole life...and now things seem to be coming to terms with that, of course she will feel nice. 
maybe all that baggage she had is now mending itself.
Now, I can't predict what she will do. Will she just appreciate it for what its worth, moving on and finally having a real relationship, a whole relationship (with you hopefully). ORrrrrr, and its what you're fearing.....Will she be happy that he is apologizing, see it as a possible attempt that he is reaching out to her, and she will take it....therein leaving you 
You can't predict that. Either way, what is best for her.....
think about that.
also think, how is your relationship revolving around this?
I say, before you mention anything to her again....assess yourself before you assess her.
Is she who you want to be with?
If yer just chillin and wasting your time, and she's a great lay....meh ok, ride it out, and just make sure to bang her a few hundred times
Otherwise, if its love........fight the good fight |

___________________
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Sep-20-2005 04:28
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Mr. Pink
Furiously Happy

Registered: Dec 2003
Location: Atlanta, bitchezzz
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Sep-20-2005 04:29
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