|
| quote: | | Personally I don't think it's possible to love somebody your entire life, and as such marriage is a structure of out society whose main purposes are to ensure that nobody gets too lonely and to prevent us from using our energy on finding partners all the way through life. |
Well, I guess it's possible to love someone all your life, but probably no more possible than it is to be mad at someone for all your life or to be "happy" for all your life. Love, when you get down to it, is still just an emotion, no more immune from the ravages of caprice and still just as prone to change depending on the environment that you exist in, or the things you experience as you mature. Love isn't eternal, nor is it transcendant. It's a basic human response - just because we may not understand where it comes from, it doesn't make it a special, "mystical" phenomenon. It's probably there, but people place way too much emphasis on it. I think we've all been brainwashed by that Hallmark sense of over-sentimentality to tell you the truth. 
And yeah, trancaholic, it's interesting that you should mention the societal influence when it comes to finding the "perfect" partner. I was reading a cultural anthropology website the other day (don't ask ) and it actually really opened my eyes to the amount of influence that our society has on the we express our......um....... "sexual desires" I guess. I mean we assume that the North American/European way of life - monogomous, heterosexual exclusivity - is the norm, and while a lot of cultures do demonstrate such a system, apparently "in a sample of 850 societies, less than 20% preferred monogamy over other marriage patterns". So I dunno, analysing things rationally, and judging from the behaviour of our primate cousins (who would share similar desires/instincts to us) I'm not sure that strict monogomy - as in all this "till death do us part" crap - is necessarily such a great option. It provides a greater feeling of security to the two individuals I guess, and probably is beneficial from an evolutionary perspective in terms of allowing offspring a greater chance of survival, but it's still a bit perculiar that humans fell so readily into this "I will love you for ever - you are my one and only" stuff. Marriage does not allow the individuals room to mature: sure they may have been in love when they were young and overflowing with lust, and had the same, basic interests (i.e. bonking like rabbits) but it would be naive to assume that this love should necessarily last for ever. I mean, look at the divorce rates in the US, and then look at all the people who by all means should be divorced, and then tell me that it's natural and the norm for people to fall in love forever.
Fuck, I didn't mean to get into all this.......where was I?
Ah yes, Vivid Boy. If you think it's the right thing to do (you feel that, overall, the pros outweigh the cons), and she feels the same way, then I fail to see the problem. No piece of paper, regardless of how legally binding it may be, has the right to tell people who they should and shouldn't have sex with. It's natural, and if you've both weighed up the options and in this current moment can honestly say that this is what you both want, and that the enjoyment that you'll get from the experience outweighs any possible repurcussions, then it's all good buddy. Jump right in. 
|
