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| quote: | Originally posted by darudevil
13. sandstorm |
Holy shit, bet they didn't see that coming.
Maaz:
| quote: | Hi! I'm trying to improve my English, so if you notice that there's anything grammatically wrong with the above post, or any word I may have used in a wrong context, please PM me.
Thank you. |
My pleasure:
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
So, I'm back.[1] Darude was brilliant. It was a very interesting live PA. Although I arrived a bit late (I was confused with the festival's schedule), it got[2] better and better song after song[3]. I really liked the way he edited sandstorm[4] - very experimental,[5] and nice to dance to.
The best thing about it was what elitists and posers complain about the most: it was fun, simple and original. If that's cheese (which is how "cheese" seems to be defined),[6] then I did enter a world of raclettes and fondues[7]. You could tell from the main entrance that Darude was playing,[8] he wasn't imitating anyone else. He read the crowd,[9] and gave us what we wanted. He had the words "Electronic Musician" on his shirt,[10] and that's exactly what he was: no "God" DJ attitude.[11] In fact, unlike some other Live PAs, he was not behind a curtains[12] of synths, samplers or drum machines.[13] We actually got to see him (and some other people whose identities remain unknown to me ). He was hopping, signing shirts and whatnot. He thanked us as personally as he could have (I didn't even expect that he would post in this thread but I was really happy that he did), even though we were the ones to be thankful for such fun moments.
Thank you,[15] Darude/Ville, I'm going to post the pics as soon as my girlfriend transfers them from her camera (my computer's usb port is not working ). |
[1] Unnecessary comma?
[2] You should probably try to avoid any derivation of the word "get" where it's possible (a better word can always be used in its place, leaving some English experts to conjecture that the term "get" should not be considered a legitimate word at all) but in any case, "got" is the correct past-tense conjugation of the infinitive "to get".
[3] Clumsy phrase. Would probably best be rendered as "better with each song" or "better and better with each song".
[4] Requires capital letter.
[5] Unnecessary comma.
[6] Unnecessary comma.
[7] I'm pretty sure that this word can't be made plural with the addition of an "s"?
[8] The comma needs to be replaced by ":" or "and that".
[9] Unnecessary comma.
[10] Unnecessary comma.
[11] Poorly constructed sentence. Your grammatical syntax makes it sound as though Darude is an attitude of some sort. The sentence would be better phrased as either:
"and that's exactly what he was: a DJ without the "God" attitude."
Or:
"and that's exactly how we construed his attitude: he was a no "God" DJ."
[12] Needs to be either "a curtain" or "curtains".
[13] Replacing the full-stop with either a colon or the word "and" would probably aid continuity.
[14] Unnecessary comma.
[15] Unnecessary comma.
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