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I'm impressed for a first track. It's actually very nice... and pretty phat sounding too. I remember my first stuff, although it had catchy melody-lines, the production was very tinny and raspy. I enjoyed the breakdown and breakbeats of this track the most. This is actually a good production, no lie... just get a mixing engineer to mixdown your track, and you'll have the big DJs playin it ... something you can do, is probably add some percussion or something to give the track some groove...
The tune itself is more dark, than uplifting (which is cool too)!
Sunquest has some very good points there. Maybe you can hire him to mixdown your track. 
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