"Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No."

Leonard Nimoy: I think this vessel could do at least warp 5.
Quimby: Yes, and may the force be with you.
Leonard Nimoy: Do you even know who I am?
Quimby: Of course I do. Werent you one of the little rascals.

Mayor Quimby: Now I'd like to introduce the Prophet of Love, Larry White.
Barry White: It's Barry White.
Mayor Quimby: No, the card says Larry White.
Barry White: I think I know my own name.
Mayor Quimby: Yeah, well we'll just see about that.

Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns... I believe you have a letter for me.
Mail clerk: Well Mr. Burns, what’s your first name?
Homer: I.... Don’t... know...

(Speaking over emergency radio)
Marge: Chief Wiggum? my husbands gone crazy and is trying to murder my family; OVER
Chief Wiggum: oh, well thank good thats over, i starting to worry there....

Smithers: I'm afraid we have a bad image, sir. Market research says people see you as something of an Ogre.
Mr. Burns: I ought to club them and eat their bones.

Krusty the Clown: Hey kids, want to see Krusty's expensive new suit? HIS SEXUAL HARASSMENT SUIT....hahahahaha....ohhhhhh.

Lionel Hutz: And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state, often as a lawyer.

Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

(Loudspeaker in Kwik-E-Mart): SILENT ALARM ACTIVATED!!!

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quote:

Addy fo SHADDY ! hiccup, KA pladdy.

gotta love em'

Mr. Burns: What country is that over there, it just screams capitalism.

Smithers: That´s Cuba sir.

Mr. Burns: Ok, land the plane Smithers.

Smithers: Sir, you're flying?!

Mr. Burns: Excellent...

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SMITHERS: Sir, why don't you use your ATM card?

BURNS: Ah yes, the Automated Tellarmachiniolatrolamaton.

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Homer over the phone: YOU CANT PUT ME ON HOLD, I'LL PUT YOU ON HOLD!

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ermmm ummmmm ermmmmmmm....

Marge; Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie?
Grandpa: I sure hope so...




bart: grandpa, i got a joke that'll make you pee your pants!
grandpa: too late!

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http://www.youtube.com/mezzir

Leprechaun: Good job, Ralphie m'boy. Now you know what you must do: burn them, burn them all!

Homer: Hey, gimme one of those big famous austrailian beers.
[bartender puts huge can of beer on bar, to Homer's disappointment]
Bartender: What's wrong, Yank?
"Well, it's pretty big.."

Moe: This thing can flash fry a buffalo in 40 seconds
Homer: 40 seconds? But I want it now.

Homer: Save me Jebus

Homer: I'm not not licking toads

Group: Homer, Homer, he's our man, if he can't do it no one can!
Carl: He's done for!
Moe: let's get out of here, before they're finished feeding!

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Wave is to particle as zero is to one as bagpipes are to modem noises.

Ralph: "It tastes like....burning"

snake:

"alright.....time for a crime spree"

"apu, whos guarding the kwikemart?"
"alright, im taking this thing to mexico!"

haha

i love the comic book guy too
but cant be bothered listing all the lines

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new set online, Summer Journeys

If you're gonna get mad at me every time I do something stupid then I guess I'm just gonna have to stop doing stupid things!

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-~-