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Hi mate,
first of all, I listened to this both on (rather bad) headphones and on my speakers and got the impression that the sound quality was ok. There still is some space for improvement tho, which I will comment on later.
now commenting as I listen...
the intro is cool, very well done. Nice atmosphere and use of Percs/FX.
The kick could get far less "oopmhy". I sounds kinda hardcore which contrasts the rather calm rest of the tune.
The short stabs and arps of synths work well. Good ambience overall.
Ah, a breakdown now. I know you wanted to create a tune with a nice amount of ambience, and this breakdown is well done, dont get me wrong.. but somehow I feel unsure about it. Maybe it needs to pick up some additional tension towards the climax when the beat kicks in.
As mentioned before, your hats are maybe the weakness of this track, it doesnt really get "full" without proper hats. I know its difficult to make your hihats fit in the mix. especially to adjust the levels if you got a rather deep tune. I'd try to look for some better hat samples, and maybe to go easy with the phaser on them, that only makes them harder to put in the mix properly.
I have to say that your different synths are really working well together. Sounds pretty good to me how you layer them. The whole ambience is lovely, too.
Towards the end I was waiting for some more changes, maybe you should consider adding an altered main theme there.
This is a good tune and I think that youre on the right way. Try to improve it, it has potential for sure. Keep it up 
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Cybernetika albums (free DL): Atropos (2009) | Nanospheric (2008) | Neural Network Expansion (2007) | Promo #1 (2006) | Paralysis (2005)
homepage: http://www.cybernetika.de
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