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| quote: | Originally posted by Tranc3
1) Assemble an array of convincing alibies and witnesses to explain your frequent disappearances.
Telling your partner "I have to work late" will only get you so far. Enlist the help of a friend or colleague, and have them "invite" you to a reception or sports event, or call with an "emergency." Create a false trail of evidence by having them leave messages on your answering machine that your partner will hear.
2) Do not make multiple, obvious changes to your lifestyle.
Do not alter the way you dress or the foods you eat all at once. This will tip off your partner that something has changed.
3) Do not discuss topics you previously knew nothing about.
If your lover has encouraged you to become interested in sports or cooking or opera or other topics you never cared about, do not suddenly start talking about them with your partner, who may wonder - or ask - how you knew that.
4) Do not change all your sexual habits at once.
An affair might make you more sexually adventurous, but do not try too many new things at once with your partner.
5) Never leave for work wearing one outfit and return wearing another.
Keep a change of clothing in your car or at your office and wear that outfit with your lover. Afterward, chjange back into the clothing you wore when you left home. This will help avoid evidence of your indiscretions (e.g. lipstick, cologne or perfume, or inappropirate wrinkles). Make sure that you do the laundry that contains your "affair" clothing.
6) Take a shower to remove the scent of the affair.
Bathing is especially necessary if you have been in a smoky bar, if your lover wears strong aftershave or perfume, or if you have a dog waiting at home.
7) Never call your partner from a hotel or motel phone, or from a restaurant.
Use your cell phone only - caller ID may reveal your whereabouts.
8) Pay bills in cash only.
Never use a credit card to charge meals, hotels, or day trips. Your partner will probably notice the increase in spending or find the charge slip. Make sure you have enough cash before you head off to your rendezvous; cash machine usage is traceable as well.
9) Drive in a separate car from your lover.
Should there be an accident or a police incident, there will not be any official record of another passenger in the car with you. There will also be no unintentional physical traces - adjusted seat, forgotten scarf - of the passenger.
10) Do not go to fancy or popular restaurants with your lover.
Out-of-the-way places are best; you are less likely to be spotted by friends of your partner. Places just out of town are even better. Room service in a hotel is very private.
-excerpt from The WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook: DATING & SEX
There is a section on what to do if you get caught, but I think I've freely given away enough of the book - if you like it go buy it. No, I don't work for them in any way, shape or form, and have no connections to them of which I am aware. |
wow thanks !! i think imma go cheat on my gf now as well !! you are awsome dude 
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"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter"
Dr.Seuss
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