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Originally posted by EvilTree Having said that, there are ways of being honest. Like others have said, choosing words carefully. But on the other hand, don't blame the other guy for being honest when you ask questions such as, 'am I fat' when you're fat and the other guy tells you honestly that you're fat.

And what if you don't ask if you're fat, because you are happy with yourself, but in a discussion about clothes someone tells you, "hey, you looked fat that night, but I am just being honest..."

I believe this would be hurtful.. does not serve a purpose.. and should be warranted as negative behaviour...

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Originally posted by Killah Monkey And what if you don't ask if you're fat, because you are happy with yourself, but in a discussion about clothes someone tells you, "hey, you looked fat that night, but I am just being honest..." I believe this would be hurtful.. does not serve a purpose.. and should be warranted as negative behaviour...

I agree. That's being not tactful.

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Originally posted by chinamon not true. i say "ugh" but i am a tranny.

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Originally posted by kotsy lol colour me retarded

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Originally posted by EvilTree I agree. That's being not tactful.

And the only way to respond to a comment like that is to be happy with yourself and let that person know that you are happy.

Big steps for 2006 I think

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Originally posted by Killah Monkey And what if you don't ask if you're fat, because you are happy with yourself, but in a discussion about clothes someone tells you, "hey, you looked fat that night, but I am just being honest..." I believe this would be hurtful.. does not serve a purpose.. and should be warranted as negative behaviour...

And obviously being said for some other reason or to intentionally be hurtful not JUST because the person "wants to be honest".

"Being honest" is sometimes used as a veil for people who just want to hurt others and be neagtive and make themselves feel better about themselves in some twisted way.

*** I am in NO WAY implying that this is the case with the original post - just making a general observation

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Originally posted by ** TigerLily ** And obviously being said for some other reason or to intentionally be hurtful not JUST because the person "wants to be honest". "Being honest" is sometimes used as a veil for people who just want to hurt others and be neagtive and make themselves feel better about themselves in some twisted way. *** I am in NO WAY implying that this is the case with the original post - just making a general observation

It is hard to be on the receiving end trying to understand the person who is sending it...

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Originally posted by yankeeBaby Choose your words There is a way of being honest but also being mindful of the persons feelings if it is something they may not want to hear

True. The person would rather find out from a friend. But the friend should be tactful and provide support no matter what the outcome.

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Originally posted by Killah Monkey It is hard to be on the receiving end trying to understand the person who is sending it...

Very true... communication is so tricky. especially through email/MSN/forums when things can get totally messed up because tone/body language etc isn't present.

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Originally posted by ** TigerLily ** Very true... communication is so tricky. especially through email/MSN/forums when things can get totally messed up because tone/body language etc isn't present.

I meant trying to understand the reasoning behind someone telling you something hurtful... what does it accomplish by saying it?

Anywho, trying to see the positive in the negative for 2006...and keeping distance from the consistent negative influences...

Seems to be a good start...

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Last edited by Killah Monkey on Jan-05-2006 at 19:08

i'd rather have people tell me straight up whatever then sugarcoat it.

but small white lies sometimes can do much more that truth, if its nothing big.

if its important then cold, naked truth is the way to go

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I think it's possible to be human-sensitive in how you deliver info/news without jeopardizing the honesty of it.

you shouldn't have to sacrifice honesty to make someone feel better but there are ways to handle things for sure... I wouldn't keep info from a person asking for it - however I may choose not to volunteer info that is not specifically asked for... I don't consider that dishonest, is that wrong? Maybe I need to change my ways!

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Originally posted by daves I think it's possible to be human-sensitive in how you deliver info/news without jeopardizing the honesty of it. you shouldn't have to sacrifice honesty to make someone feel better but there are ways to handle things for sure... I wouldn't keep info from a person asking for it - however I may choose not to volunteer info that is not specifically asked for... I don't consider that dishonest, is that wrong? Maybe I need to change my ways!

I think that is generous of you....

Again, if the information does not serve a purpose and is hurtful, why offer the comment unless requested?

What does it do other than hurt the other person's feelings and put someone down?

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