I hate to say it but it sounds like to me that your so called Boy has been getting laid by your girl well before the brake up and she finally felt bad and broke it off with you. SORRY TA!

P.S. I would Knock out Your so called best Boy!

___________________
Paul Oakenfold the ANTICHRIST of TRANCE

i tend to agree with everyone else BUT, here's a way to satisfy your peace of mind
call girl "girl, i miss you, i'd like to get together and talk, i know you have some insecurities in your life right now, and i want to be there with you through them, perhaps you feel like there's other things you have to do before you go off to college, but the truth is i can't imagine anything i could do that would be better then spending time with you. i'm really confused that you and friend have been spending so much time together and i'm not sure what to think about it, i value your friendships, and i'm worried that i'm losing both of you, i'm concerned that breaking up may have been a big mistake, no matter how you feel, i'd really like to get together and chat so this can be resolved, perhaps for you and i to get back together, or perhpas just for closure, but i need to make sure everything is out in the open"
if she talks to you, maybe things will work out, maybe she's confused, maybe she misses you, maybe your friend is merely trying to comfort her through this time of confusion (she would ordinarily be comming to you, but since you've broken up who's left?) maybe your friend is taking advantage of her confusion and your breakup to paint himself as a knight in shinning armor and steal your girl, maybe the two of them have strong feelings for each other and are sick of denying themselves for your benefit
my gut tells me you're not going to get her back, anything between her and your "friend" won't last long either because it was started under such shady circumstances, it seems pretty clear your friend has betrayed you, but before anything else happens, make sure you talk to girl and you know how she feels, also consider sitting down with your friend and asking him how he sees the situation
if you think these people are going to hurt you, cut them loose, don't torture yourself, despite what you may have done wrong in the relationship you're clearly a caring, forgiving, and loyal guy, there will be others!

quote:

if she talks to you, maybe things will work out,

i think what my point is.. is that he shouldnt WANT her back. i think being forgiving is an admirable quality, but also a fatal flaw. i dont know about any of you, but i have been royally fucked over a few times, by guys who cheat on me, lie through their teeth about how they are sorry and wont do it again, and ive taken them back. only for the cycle to repeat.

what did this teach me?

that if you are dumb enough to invite someone back in your life, you are going to pay those consequences. ever hear the saying "fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me"? that applies in these kinds of situations i think.

i dunno, i guess its hard to just let someone go in a relationship, especially when you love them so much and you WANT to give them another chance, but i dont get how someone who's partner has just blatantly started being with their best friend, can then turn around and want to forget it ever happened and welcome them both back into their lives?

again, that sounds to me like codependency, being too afraid to dispose of the diseased portion of your life.

so yea. i guess im just having a hard time understanding why he would want to get back with her at all after that shit she pulled. thats asking for her to walk all over him again, and she'll know she can.

no one, guy OR girl in any relationship, deserves that. if she wanted a second chance, she should have thought about that before she got with your best friend. period. dont degrade yourself by running back to her now. you deserve more than that.

quote:

Originally posted by Laun19 heres the story, my gf broke up with me last week after a 14 month relationship that everything was going great in, the next day my best friend, takes her out to get coffee. i ask him not to date her because i still care and she still really means a lot to me, which it true now still. i still love her and i am pretty sure that she still loves me, but he then goes off and tells me that i am being irrational that he can do whatever the fuck that he wants. and for the whole week the only times that i have seen or talked him is when i call him, or make a point to see him. it seems to me that he is more conserned with getting in my ex-gf's pants, he calls her all the time and takes her out every day since we broke up, than trying to help me, his friend of over 6 years. what am i supost to think, or do for that matter. i am really lost and i don't know where i can find the answers, and i think that i still want to get back with my ex-gf, what do i do, and if going to get back, how do i go about it? i want them both as friends and her maybe more than a friend but how do i go about doing that without looking like an ass? any help would be greatly appriceated. thanks alot guys. confused TA, Johnny :-)

Well I've always followed one rule, Friends first... If your best friend dates your ex, especially right after he's not a true friend.

My advice, ditch them both.

You think now that she's the love of your life and that he's a good friend.. Wait 2 yrs and I bet you'll be glad that you are no longer with her, and that you treated your supposed friend with the respect he deserves..... NONE.

Damn it makes me mad to see friends fucking each other over for a girl.... Friends are forever, girlfriends are not....

___________________
Administrator of the Shroomery

Thankx guys, you all have godd insight, i think that is why i asked some advice, i just want to know what is going to happen, you know like, asking mrs. cleo, or some other kina pysic just to know, i just want to patch this whole mess up so that i can have closure, and get some rest, which i haven't gotten all week, but some things are for the better, and me and her are going to get togather and talk because i really care about her, and i think that she also really cares about me. thanx to you guys i have made my decision, i think that i am going to give her some space to make her decisions, and if she fucks up, and wants me back i will take her, but if not, then i can find someone else, it has taken me all week to figure that shit out, she is one of my best friend, and i don't totally want to loose her, she ment so much to me over the past 14 months, and without her as at least a friend then i don't know what i would do, tell me what you all think of this and once again thankx for helping me through all of this, you guys are the best.

Much Love,

one fu*king confused TA,
Johnny :-)

quote:

and if she fucks up, and wants me back i will take her

codependency.

quote:

and i don't totally want to loose her, she ment so much to me over the past 14 months, and without her as at least a friend then i don't know what i would do

codependency.

seriously man, i dont get why you are gonna take her back after she fucked you over.

if you choose to do that, as far as im concerned, you deserve everything she has done to you, and will do in the future. how many more times will you let her go off and fuck some other guy, and then come crying back to you and youll take her back?

no one likes losing a best friend, or a boy/girlfriend, but you cant just bend over backwards for them after they fuck you over because you are scared to lose them.

tho yanno, thats a lesson everyone needs to learn... and maybe this is your time to learn that.

anyways, if you are set in your decision to do that, i have nothing left to say. you are digging your own grave here, and are gonna have to learn the hard way i guess.

From what I've read, it seems your friend isn't really a friend after all. This breakup has been really hard on you. At these difficult experiences of life your friends should be there supporting you.

quote:

Originally posted by barry_sheen Just forget both of them and move on. I know it sounds hard, but thats what it'll end up as anyway, so you may aswell save yourself some more grief and get on with your life. Barry

exactly right!

well lets just say i had a similar story to yours happen to me....a while back....

move on, you're better than both of them....and as for your friend, man...what kind of a friend that dont respect you or your feelings???? ....i wouldnt call him a friend.....

take some advise from ppl here, seems like nowadays a similar thread to yours pops up in here every month or so, and there's always ppl giving out some good advice,...might as well follow some of that advice adn you'll be all right!

take care,

>JM<

quote:

Originally posted by Laun19 Thankx guys, you all have godd insight, i think that is why i asked some advice, i just want to know what is going to happen, you know like, asking mrs. cleo, or some other kina pysic just to know, i just want to patch this whole mess up so that i can have closure, and get some rest, which i haven't gotten all week, but some things are for the better, and me and her are going to get togather and talk because i really care about her, and i think that she also really cares about me. thanx to you guys i have made my decision, i think that i am going to give her some space to make her decisions, and if she fucks up, and wants me back i will take her, but if not, then i can find someone else, it has taken me all week to figure that shit out, she is one of my best friend, and i don't totally want to loose her, she ment so much to me over the past 14 months, and without her as at least a friend then i don't know what i would do, tell me what you all think of this and once again thankx for helping me through all of this, you guys are the best. Much Love, one fu*king confused TA, Johnny :-)

here i go again....i just read sothis's post and she's right on the point with what she said....

dont be a fool, U just got SCREWED OVER MAN, now dont allow it to happen again. NEVER! move on, learn one of the lessons of life

>JM<

dude
logic + experience = result
result is :
Go get laid
Get over it trust me , dont waiste ur time, once its over , its over! no turning back.

not all girls are manipulative like that.

and if they are, fuck that. be strong and dont take them back. i know i wouldnt if the situation was reversed, and it was my boyfriend giving me "tests". you can certainly find someone better who wont play games with you and will communicate.

give the guy a chance to find out what the situation is and make his own decisions, stop giving commands and acting like you know everything. if he talks to her, our man here will soon realize if she's being a wench, if she's manipulating his mind, or if she's scared and confused like he is.