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i was possessed by a demon when i was a baby, they gave me an exorcism when i was three and i bit the priests finger off so i dont think it worked. ever since then weird stuff keeps happening to me. for example i dont have a shadow (could possibly be related to when i sold my soul but i am not convinced), priests and other religious figures cross themselves and pray for mercy when i am around, i can predict the future and finally i see dead people. does that count?
i am the son of lucifer bow down before me 
god i love fridays, where is the club?
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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