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tatgirl
The Oracle
Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Washington DC
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Re: Attention wives, girlfriends, partners
| quote: | Originally posted by Jayx1
Guidelines for Surviving the World Cup
Dear wife, partner, girlfriend,
1. From June 9 to July 9, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the world cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversation. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. Do not complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the world cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glance at the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right afterwards because, if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the world cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor. It won't happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six-packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces at my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between midnight and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, do not say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so-called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break-up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half-time score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game; hence do not use the world cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends not to have any babies, or any other child-related parties or gatherings that require my attendance because: (a) I will not go, (b) I will not go, and (c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily world cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this, why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" because the reply will be "refer to rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please keep expressions such as "thank God the world cup is only every four years" to yourself. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, and FA Cup.
Thank you for your cooperation. |
I have to abide by these rules ALL YEAR LONG, with the English Premier League. Lucky me....  This is what you get for dating a European.
___________________
"When I die, I want to be buried under the dancefloor"- Frankie Madgenta
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 Jun-27-2006 17:18 
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Jem_hadar
I remember...
Registered: Nov 2003
Location: Pandora (South of Nowhere)
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Jun-27-2006 17:20 
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loca
the vibe raider
Registered: Apr 2003
Location: Oz
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| quote: | Originally posted by VERTiG0
fixed
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"The brutal game once known in England as 'kicking the bladder' actually dates back at least to the Roman conquest in A.D. 43.The name 'fut balle' was given the game in the 12th century, when it was first played on a large 'field' with boundary lines, with approximately 50 men on each side. It was already causing so many injuries that a number of English monarchs, including Henry VIII and Elizabeth I, tried to ban it. The modern spelling 'football' appeared in England by 1650. Football didn't become respectable until James I of England lifted the ban imposed by Elizabeth I, and the rules against mayhem slowly began to evolve.The English game was, of course, developing into what we Americans now call 'soccer' (1889, a clipping and alliteration of 'association football') but which the rest of the world still calls, by some variant or translation of English, 'football'." From "Speaking Freely: A Guided Tour of American English from Plymouth Rock to Silicon Valley" by Stuart Berg Flexner and Anne H. Soukhanov (Oxford University Press, New York, 1997).
It's been called football since 1650 and only become "soccer" in north america in 1889. The correct word is FOOTBALL.
Besides considering the fact that american football is played more with hands than it is with feet, the point of calling that pitiful excuse for a sport 'football' is non-existent.
___________________
Whatever it may take I keep on trying.
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Jun-27-2006 17:25 
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geroin
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Nov 2003
Location:
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Jun-28-2006 00:29 
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Now if you want to talk about a real men's sport, watch rugby, that's a proper sport.
And the Champions League! lol 
