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One day I was working with one of my favorite teachers in the ghetto school. Her English is great, and she's really Americanized, as showcased by the random expletives she'll hit me with. One day after a noisy class, she sighed heavily and said "Oh man, those fucking bastards wouldn't shut up!" Imagine this coming from a Japanese woman and you'll understand why I was floored.
In an ichinensei class, one boy was heckling her the whole time. He kept saying that she should marry me, because she's still single at 27 and she doesn't want to die alone, right? She gave him a harsh, "Shut up kid," in Japanese, and this almost worked. A few minutes later, he leaned in and asked her to come closer, which she did. When she was close enough, he asked, "Are you still a virgin?"
The smack she gave him was instantaneous. I mean, the words had barely escaped his mouth and already her hand was on its way back from having whacked him. I've never seen anyone move that fast.
But then she turned to me and, in English, says "Can you believe this kid?! How old does he think I am? Of course I'm not a virgin!"
And they always say the Japanese are a reserved and private people.
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OK. I'll stop now. I love Japan.
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I'm the trouble starter, fuckin' instigator.
I'm the fear-addicted, danger illustrated.
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