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TranceAddict Forums > Local Scene Info / Discussion / EDM Event Listings > USA > USA - Texas & S. Central USA > Funny Joke
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jonas
I'z hungry



Registered: Aug 2005
Location: I'm sooooo 972. TXTA #138

quote:
Originally posted by davemolina
It's a Mail Carrier's last day of service before his retirement. He walks down the street, delivering mail doorstep to doorstep as he has done everyday for the last 20 years. Approaching one house, the mailman sees a note taped to the front door that simply reads, "Mailman, please come inside".

Hesitantly, the mailman enters the house. "Hello" he says, "is anyone home?" A woman appears out of a bedroom door at the end of the hall. She's a beautiful, middle aged woman dressed in a sexy black silk teddy. Without saying a word, the woman motions for the mailman to come to the bedroom. The mailman, very confused but certainly excited, follows the woman
through the door.

The woman proceeds to undress the mailman slowly, and make love to him. When the mailman is completely exhausted, the woman leads him to the kitchen, hands him a crisp one-dollar bill and begins to cook him a delicious breakfast with all the trimmings.

Still having not exchanged a single word between them, the mailman's curiosity and confusion get the best of him and he breaks the silence...

"Ma'am, I have to say, that was perhaps the best sex I've had in my entire life. And although I am eternally grateful to you for that, I must ask you...'What was that all about?"

The woman replies "Well, you've been delivering our mail everyday for some time now and I knew that today was your last day before retirement. As my husband was leaving for work this morning, I told him that I'd like to do something special for you and asked him what he thought that should be. Without hesitation, my husband said... 'Screw him! Give him a dollar.'"

The woman paused and then said...

"Breakfast was MY idea!"


Die Steve


I did. Your Mom kept farting under the covers. Nasty ass biatch.

Old Post Sep-18-2006 20:35 
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jonas
I'z hungry



Registered: Aug 2005
Location: I'm sooooo 972. TXTA #138

Two guys were standing around one day at work and the first guy looks at the second guy and says " you're always smiling when u come to work what's you're secert?"
The second guy replies " well i have a little poem that i recite to my wife every morning when I wake up and she can't resist me...."
"Wow thats awesome what do you say to her?" The first guy asks.
"I say blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes so blue, how I love to wake up each moring and make love to you." The guy replies and then adds "you should try making up a poem of your own for your wife."
The next day the men are standing around at work again and the second guy ask the first guy "my god man what happened to you? You're a bloody mess."
The first guy replies with shame in his eyes "all i did is what you told me to, I went home made up a poem about my wife and she beat the shit out of me."
"oh I'm sorry man what did you say to her?" The second guy asks.
"All i said was nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fat ass over I'd f**k you like a dog."

Old Post Sep-19-2006 23:25 
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Zild
Ten City



Registered: Jun 2004
Location: San Antonio, US : TXTA #156

Can I request I few jesus or christian jokes please? I really hate those assholes.


___________________
I've never been able to eat a whole baby.
Kill the women. Eat the children.
It's just one of those days where you want to bend over everyone you know and kiss their ass goodbye with a big sideways boot.

Latest Mix

Old Post Sep-19-2006 23:28  United States
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jonas
I'z hungry



Registered: Aug 2005
Location: I'm sooooo 972. TXTA #138

quote:
Originally posted by Zild
Can I request I few jesus or christian jokes please? I really hate those assholes.


You have a lot of hate. Hurry up and tell us you're gay so you'll feel better.

[breaks into chorus of 'born free']

Old Post Sep-20-2006 02:25 
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jonas
I'z hungry



Registered: Aug 2005
Location: I'm sooooo 972. TXTA #138

How do you comfortably fit Zild and his three gay lovers on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

Old Post Sep-21-2006 18:07 
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D Dubya
Deeper



Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Over there

quote:
Originally posted by djjonas
How do you comfortably fit Zild and his three gay lovers on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.


LMAO

yea jacob, why dont you pull up a seat....


___________________
Helping girls make bad decisions since 1979

Old Post Sep-21-2006 18:15 
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Zild
Ten City



Registered: Jun 2004
Location: San Antonio, US : TXTA #156

No I need all of them for myself. Besides you evil bastards need to stop lying to yourselves about your supposed morality and start giving the devil his due. Accept Satan into your life and you will be saved! By the power of Jeebus. Yeah something like that.

Oh yea great joke sloth I see you had to send off to 1982 for that one since it is so original.


___________________
I've never been able to eat a whole baby.
Kill the women. Eat the children.
It's just one of those days where you want to bend over everyone you know and kiss their ass goodbye with a big sideways boot.

Latest Mix

Old Post Sep-21-2006 19:04  United States
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jonas
I'z hungry



Registered: Aug 2005
Location: I'm sooooo 972. TXTA #138

quote:
Originally posted by Zild
No I need all of them for myself. Besides you evil bastards need to stop lying to yourselves about your supposed morality and start giving the devil his due. Accept Satan into your life and you will be saved! By the power of Jeebus. Yeah something like that.

Oh yea great joke sloth I see you had to send off to 1982 for that one since it is so original.


Wasn't trying to be original, I'm already original. Just trying to help you come to grips with being a pole smoker.

Now shut up before I tell Alejandro your gay latin lover to make you his meat puppet.

Old Post Sep-21-2006 19:20 
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jonas
I'z hungry



Registered: Aug 2005
Location: I'm sooooo 972. TXTA #138

quote:
Originally posted by Zild
Besides you evil bastards need to stop lying to yourselves about your supposed morality and start giving the devil his due. Accept Satan into your life and you will be saved! By the power of Jeebus.


Just figured out what the f**k is wrong with you.

Old Post Sep-21-2006 19:22 
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Zild
Ten City



Registered: Jun 2004
Location: San Antonio, US : TXTA #156

How'd you know his name? Dave told you didn't he? That bitch!

Oh yea and there is nothing wrong with me. If being down with jesus turns you into a blatant racist I want nothing to do with it.


___________________
I've never been able to eat a whole baby.
Kill the women. Eat the children.
It's just one of those days where you want to bend over everyone you know and kiss their ass goodbye with a big sideways boot.

Latest Mix

Last edited by Zild on Sep-21-2006 at 19:29

Old Post Sep-21-2006 19:22  United States
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jonas
I'z hungry



Registered: Aug 2005
Location: I'm sooooo 972. TXTA #138

quote:
Originally posted by Zild
How'd you know his name? Dave told you didn't he? That bitch!

Oh yea and there is nothing wrong with me. If being down with jesus turnts you into a blatant racist I want nothing to do with it.


Racist? None of what you just said makes sense, so I will just ignore it. Now, I'm tired. So could you call yourself a fucking moron so we'll both feel better?

Old Post Sep-21-2006 19:25 
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Zild
Ten City



Registered: Jun 2004
Location: San Antonio, US : TXTA #156

I'll explain it. You called me a hater because I said that racist thread was full of shit.

I'm a moron! Happy now? Oops I'm such a moron I couldn't get that right the first time. Let me try again.

I'm a fucking moron!


___________________
I've never been able to eat a whole baby.
Kill the women. Eat the children.
It's just one of those days where you want to bend over everyone you know and kiss their ass goodbye with a big sideways boot.

Latest Mix

Old Post Sep-21-2006 19:28  United States
Click Here to See the Profile for Zild Click here to Send Zild a Private Message Add Zild to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message

TranceAddict Forums > Local Scene Info / Discussion / EDM Event Listings > USA > USA - Texas & S. Central USA > Funny Joke
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