quote:

Originally posted by Acid John as queer as it might be to stick a jet engine on the likes of a beetle... he still wins... who has a rocket powered anything... that guy. who doesnt... you... so that guy ftw.... and a suggestion for him... instead of the lame scooter... he should give a sport bike a rocket boost.... a crotch rocket... rocket?

I'm sorry, you are wrong.

Not wearing black socks with casual shoes and shorts > rocket powered VW

I have won this round.

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better than sandals and socks

you lose round 2

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I PUT TRADEMARKS AROUND YO MOTHAFUCKIN EYE
JUST ME N YOU

quote:

Jet Assisted Take-Off 1995 Darwin Awards Winner Confirmed Bogus by Darwin The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene. The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise. It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields. Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket. The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows: The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners. The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel. Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading "How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT."

Source: Darwin Awards dot com - http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html

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quote:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

--Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

quote:

Originally posted by Acid John as queer as it might be to stick a jet engine on the likes of a beetle... he still wins... who has a rocket powered anything... that guy. who doesnt... you... so that guy ftw.... and a suggestion for him... instead of the lame scooter... he should give a sport bike a rocket boost.... a crotch rocket... rocket?

Jay Leno has a crotch rocket, rocket

roflllllllllllllllll

quote:

Originally posted by emc^2 Source: Darwin Awards dot com - http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html

They investigated this on y Mythbuster pilot.

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Originally posted by Moongoose http://www.ronpatrickstuff.com/ i would love to drive that once

wow lol.........why a beetle? guess that's what he had to work with

I can't believe that thing is street legal

quote:

Originally posted by emc^2 Source: Darwin Awards dot com - http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html

FUCKING LOL

i wouldve loved to have been there.
airborne for a fuckin mile

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www.misterfalconmusic.com

quote:

Originally posted by Azia I can't believe that thing is street legal

...in California!

quote:

Originally posted by Moongoose They investigated this on y Mythbuster pilot.

Third line from the top, "CONFIRMED BOGUS"

still funny though. but since we're shooting shit, this one is probably the funniest story I've ever read on darwinawards:

quote:

Man Glued to Rhino Buttocks 1999 Urban Legend A Vermont native found himself in a difficult position yesterday while touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari Zoo with a group of thespians from St. Petersburg, Russia. Ronald went to extremes to demonstrate the power of Crazy Glue, one of America's many marvels, to the Russians. To prove the effectiveness of Crazy Glue, he rubbed several ounces of the adhesive onto the palms of his hands and jokingly placed them on the buttocks of a passing rhino. The rhinoceros, a resident of the zoo for the thirteen years, was not initially startled, as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its arrival as a baby. However, once it became aware of being involuntarily stuck to Ronald, it began to panic and charge wildly about the petting area with Ronald as an unwitting passenger. "Sally the Rhino hadn't been feeling well. She was constipated, and had just been given a laxative when the American played his juvenile prank, " said caretaker James Douglass. During Sally's tirade, a shed wall was gored, two fences destroyed, and a number of small animals escaped. Three pygmy goats and one duck were stomped to death. During the stampede and subsequent capture, Sally began to feel the effects of the laxative, showering Ronald repeatedly with over 30 gallons of rhinoceros diarrhea. A team of medics and zoo caretakers were needed to remove his hands from Sally's buttocks. "It was tricky. We had to calm her down while shielding our faces from the pelting rhino dung. I guess you could say that Ronald was in it up to his neck. Once she was under control, three people with shovels were working to keep an air passage open for him. We were eventually able to tranquilize Sally and apply a solvent to remove his hands from her rear," said Douglass. "I don't think he'll be playing with Crazy Glue for awhile." Meanwhile, the amused Russians were impressed with the power of the adhesive. "I'm going to buy some for my children, but of course they can't take it to the zoo," commented Vladimir Zolnikov, leader of the troupe. Ronald did not die, nor was there any reproductive injury, so he can only qualify for a Darwin Award if you are persuaded by the fact that nobody would date a man who smelled of rhino dung.

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quote:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

--Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

quote:

Originally posted by citric_acid my dad is in the process of making a propetual motion thingy

is your dad by chance a future Nobel prize winner?