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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > Children and cursing.
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Arbiter
Naked Power Organ



Registered: May 2002
Location:

Well, it depends on the child. Is your child an idiot? Then just tell them what to do. If they aren't an idiot, then provide guidance, not "rules."

Old Post Dec-02-2006 02:40 
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CranberryJuice
In my Peanut Car



Registered: Feb 2006
Location: Le Mans (my new shithole) -France

it's funny but as kid i never cursed ....i was scared because i knew it was bad words though i was hearing others kids cursing but to me these words were "forbidden" and to go through a rule (which was to not say bad words) was frightenning me

u can all make fun of me but i was around 11 when i dared with friends at school to say "fuck" for the first time

anyway even now ....there are some cursing words i never said and dont plan to say because it's too gross and impolite ....i dont really say bad words when i speak actually just like shit or fuck or moron that's about it and i dont say them all the time


actually i realize i curse or type more bad words in english that i even do in my own language :french

and i dont think a girl who curses is really elegant and class....none of my friends really curse we say these 3 words i wrote but that's about it

but i think if i had kids i would forbidden them especially if it's a girl to curse because once again a girl has to hold her words sometimes and gotta behave

well at least that's how i grew up same thing to hold correctly especially in public ..crossed legs ...do not put your elbows on the table when u eat and so on


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Old Post Dec-02-2006 13:41  France
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Pjotr G
Mindcrawler



Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Netherlands

When I was a kid, me and my sister would get 1 minute a day to exclaim all the dirty ass words we could find. Was good fun


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Old Post Dec-02-2006 13:44  Netherlands
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ZeJayMan
the farthammer



Registered: Aug 2005
Location: Glasgow

My mum still gets annoyed when I swear on the phone and i'm a big boy.


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Old Post Dec-02-2006 13:45 
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DJ Mikey Mike
Your mum's face



Registered: Jan 2002
Location: I'm at your mums'

quote:
Originally posted by SillySilvia
Ok, let me throw this out there.

I'm a parent to 2 kids(boy,10 girl 4 1/2). My son hears the words and sometimes laughs and goes "oooohhhhhh, you/she/he said a bad word" and I'm like "cuz I'm/theyre an adult".

I let him say other variations of words...fudge, flip, dang, shoot, etc. I tell him when he's older he can say the "real" words. I also tell him not to use the words towards a person. Example..."you flippin dork" would NOT be acceptable. Now if he was mad from a situation and said "that was flippin wrong" then thats ok. Its all in the text of which its used.

to hear kids use curse words with anger towards another kid, to me is completely unacceptable. Using it to describe something is ok but it still makes me cringe. I get that they want to be cool so they use them but that doesnt mean they should use them.

I could go on but I'll start with that.


You're sheltering your child from getting a proper appreciation of how the real world works. He will grow to be weak - the lowest common denominator in society; a burden on the strong. He will resent you for this.

Old Post Dec-02-2006 14:33 
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asfdz
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Registered: Not Yet
Location:
Re: Children and cursing.

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot
OK, I want to know other people's stance on this. How they'd feel about it from a parental standpoint and how they'd feel about it as a child.

I believe that all children will curse and say adult things behind their parent's backs. Didn't you? This is universal human behavior.

This leads to "Pretend to be a 'good' kid in front of parents and teachers, go wild with other kids." But during the teen years, and beyond, when parents might want to grow closer to their kids or know what's going on in their heads... they will be shut out because their children have learned at an early age how to hide secrets from mom and dad.

Most of us agree on this, right? It's awkward to talk about certain things with your parents, because you simply aren't used to it, right?

Now, I say that if you let your kids curse or speak their mind in your household and told them to behave outside, then you will have a closer relationship with them.

I have experienced this IN PERSON, when I was around 10. I had friends who could say WHATEVER THE FUCK they wanted to in front of their mothers, while my mother would slap for me for saying "shit" (she still doesn't like when I say that, although she curses like a sailor... .).. these guys were normal, children who loved their parents. Nothing was wrong with them.

1. Do you think this is a good idea?
2. How do you think you'd grow up if this was the rule in your household?

Personally, I don't think I'd be as distant from my mother as I am now if she wasn't so restrictive and hypocritical. Now she wants to share secrets and shit with me, but it just won't work... too awkward now.


I find this to be very true and I went through the same thing when I was a teenager. I was ms. Perfect to my mom until I hit 13 and she realized I wasn't, shutting me out, causing me to rebel even more.
I couldn't talk to her about anything or I would be punished. I had to pretend I was perfect.
Now with my little man, I want him to be open with me about anything, so he doesn't ever feel shut out. Even swearing, we all do it, there's just a time and place for it.
So when his lego bridge breaks and he says "aw, shit"
I say "no shit." (jk)

Old Post Dec-02-2006 16:47 
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astroboy
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Melbourne

You just have to teach them that certain words aren't appropriate for certain circumstances. If they learn to swear in with their friends and not around adults, then that's entirely appropriate. In future they will use that same discernment to curse around their mates, but not around their superiors at work for example.

Hypocrisy on the part of parents can lead to mistrust, so you shouldn't curse in front of your kids either. My parents never cursed in front of me and would have smacked me for cursing. In the end I think kids should be expected to accept that parents simply know better.


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Old Post Dec-03-2006 00:36  Australia
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enferno
Penus Maximus



Registered: Jan 2004
Location: jesus land

this is essentially how i was raised. my parents and i are still very close, and when growing up, they let me say whatever the fuck i wanted, but i know i couldn't say stuff like that around most people. their mentality was that they didn't want me to be one of those goody-two-shoes people who is offended at a lot of stuff. in the end, i probably ended up offending more people than i should have, but what they did worked

Old Post Dec-03-2006 00:45 
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Psy-T
Melody Klein



Registered: Jan 2003
Location: Haifa

i never had much desire to use profanity. wits (and strength where absolutely necessary) > profanity.

so imo the best solution would be to raise an egomanical intellectual with good enough physical features to fend for himself


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Old Post Dec-03-2006 01:17  Israel
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rochambeau
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Registered: Not Yet
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Re: Children and cursing.

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot
I believe that all children will curse and say adult things behind their parent's backs. Didn't you? This is universal human behavior.


And if all children jumped off of bridges behind their parents' backs, would you do it too?

Old Post Dec-03-2006 06:32 
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Yan
fauxhawk



Registered: Jul 2003
Location: Wano

I curse in front of my parents. They curse in front of me. We never swear at each other.

As a child, got a beating if I cursed.

Same'll happen to my kids.

Old Post Dec-03-2006 06:36 
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david.michael
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Sep 2003
Location: Dayton, OH, USA

My favorite thing to say when I'm out somewhere and my wife curses in front of children:


"Chelsea! Don't say "fuck" in front of the K.I.D.!!!"

Old Post Dec-03-2006 06:45  United States
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