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Hey, that's not fair. If anything, I was able to battle my own psychological monsters by beating the shit out of my Shabooga (that was his name).
-Kids at school called me an orphan and then pushed me to the ground and peed on me - go home and beat the shit out of Shabooga.
-Baby sister was crying too much and no matter how much you throw at her she won't stop - go beat the shit out of Shabooga.
-Mommy didn't breast-feed me for long enough - go beat the shit out of Shabooga.
So you see? Having a My Pet MonsterTM is actually a very psychologically healthy thing for a young person. It allows for them to develop good habits from the very beginning such as:
-Don't trust ugly people, as they are most likely monsters.
-Beating the shit out of something is definitely the answer to most of life's problems
-Creatures with grotesquely large, pickle-like noses and horns with tufts of flaming pink hair strewn about their mutated, stubby bodies are to be kept in chains at all times. Even when you beat the shit out of them.
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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
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