Not the lyrics, no. But you really have done a good job anyway, it´s not easy to work with vocals.

Sounds pretty amateur to me. The bassline is weak overall, and in the beginning it's just odd. Some of the percussion felt awkward and the random jet effects thrown in felt forced. Also, it feels like it needs to be pitched up a bit.

The little breakbeat part around the 4 minute part is decent though, and the buildup to the weak breakdown thereafter was okay. In fact, that was about the best part of the track. Lay off the epic snare rolls that go nowhere. There were about three or four of them in this track

Keep at it though. You have talent, you just need a fair amount of fine tuning.

I liked it a lot, but I do agree that the bass is a bit commercial. Also... maybe boost up the vocals.

listening...

i agree with the bass sounding chessey lol...

also i dont think the kick sits so well in the mix...too dominating in a bad way...

the vocal stuttering is kinda awkward. cant really here the voice while the other synths are playing either.

mixing and eq needs to be worked on...the drum programming is rather bland. could use some eq or somthing to make different elements cut through and sit in the spectrum.

also, could be a lot more varitation, you just have one thing mainly playing, with the same elements coming in and out.

you are def on the right track tho, someone said it before, you've got the skill, just need to perfect it.