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Thanks for the new link (I have Office 2000 and 2003). Sorry I didn't post for a few days. I've been busy getting ready for finals of my own, plus two gigs next week!
For the paper itself, I would re-word/change a couple of things (IMO):
- on B: Programs used now, what is the purpose of telling the audience about these P2P networks? What's the "point" that you're trying to make as it relates to the RIAA and ASCAP? I think that taking speech time to describe how people pirate their songs is getting away from the main focus of the speech, which is to point out the flaws in the RIAA and ASCAP.
- I think section II should be moved up to the beginning of the speech. Give the audience the background information they need before you delve into your argument, so that they will be clear about who you are talking about up front instead of 4 minutes into the speech.
- The transition between II and III could be re-worded to sound better. Here's the original:
| quote: | | Now that we know who they are, and what they do, and some of their many mistakes, let’s delve further into more of their mistakes, and the difficult area they are attempting to police. |
and what I would change:
| quote: | | Now that we know who the RIAA and ASCAP are, what they do, and how they've affected the record indistry, let’s discuss the mistakes they've made in combating P2P file sharers, and the fact that P2P is a difficult area to police. |
because A and B there are talking exclusively about indivual incidents where the RIAA messed up their P2P lawsuits. C looks like it could be separated into its own main section.
- I think IV is a very strong argument. Make sure you focus on the fact the without the Amen Break we would not have most of our music today. You can make this point drive home by relating the Amen Break to a genre that the audience cares about (read your audience and see if they'll respond better to a Hip-Hop example or a Breaks example,etc.)
- V is going to raise some questions from the audience. Namely, you will probably be asked about the fact that without record labels, how are artists suppused to become well-known outside of a local area? Someone will probably have questions asking about how radio could survive without record labels pushing records for their play. You are going to have to come up with answers to these, and fit them into your solution. Because your solution is a bit extreme you will have some tough questions asked about the specifics of the solution, so be prepared.
Personally I would disagree with your proposed solution, because I see record labels as a necessary evil in order to bring the fans and the artists together, and to keep the business part of music alive. Artists need creative freedom, but they also need to put food on the table at the same time. I think there can be a solution that will even the field between the labels and the artists, and that will ultimately benefit the fans.
- Part V, section 4 could be moved up to an earlier part of the speech. It seems weird to talk about the current problem right after proposing your solution.
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Overload (House/J-Pop/K-Pop): Click
No Pants Dance (Funky House/Electro House/K-Pop): Click
Dark Beach (Deep House): Click
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