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This is a really funny entry on the Evolution of a Programmer:
http://www.ariel.com.au/jokes/The_E...Programmer.html
Shooting yourself in the foot - Operating Systems
Unix: You shoot yourself in the foot.
DOS: You keep running up against the one-bullet barrier.
Minix: You learn how to shoot yourself in the foot with a Saturday Night Special.
Linux: Generous programmers from around the world all join forces to help you shoot yourself in the foot for free.
Windows 95: Before you shoot yourself in the foot, you have to get your stack of floppies and load every component of the gun, and when you want to shoot yourself, the gun explodes in your hand.
Windows 98: Shooting yourself in the foot is already implemented, but the gun still explodes in your hand.
Windows NT: The gun is so huge and unwieldy that you have to keep swapping it from one hand to the other.
Windows Server: You shoot all your users in the foot.
Windows ME: The bazooka you were gonna shoot at your foot exploded, and your upper body is sorta missing.
Windows 2000: You decided to go with an uzi, but it exploded in your hand again.
Windows XP: After you got the gun, it jammed for the first 4 years, then all of a sudden it shot you in the foot.
Windows Vista: Your gun looks very glossy and handsome, but it explodes in your hand.
OS/2: The gun and the bullet aren't speaking to each other any more.
OSX: Shoot yourself in the foot right after you finish drinking your latte.
Mac Finder: It's easy to shoot yourself in the foot -- just point and shoot.
AIX: You can shoot yourself in the foot with either a .38 or a .45.
IRIX: The Terminator shoots you in the foot. A T-Rex bites your other foot.
SVR4: The gun isn't compatible with your foot.
HURD: You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot Real Soon Now.
VM/CMS: IBM shoots you in the foot.
VMS: \FOOT\ ambiguous: supply more toes.
AMIGA-DOS: The gun works pretty well, except that few people use one and it's impossible to find bullets.
Mach: The bullets work pretty well, but they don't make guns for it any more.
Cray: You shoot yourself in the foot with an Uzi.
MasPar: You shoot all of your friends' feet simultaneously.
Shooting yourself in the foot - Programming Languages
TASK: Shoot yourself in the foot.
C: You shoot yourself in the foot.
C++: You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying,"That's me, over there."
FORTRAN: You shoot yourself in each toe until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue with the attempts to shoot yourself anyway because you have no exception-handling capability.
Pascal: The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot, no matter how much you need to.
Java: Shoot yourself in the foot, using a 135 foot .22 Magnum.
Ada: After correctly packing your foot, you attempt to concurrently load the gun, pull the trigger, scream, and shoot yourself in the foot. When you try, however, you discover you can't because your foot is of the wrong type.
COBOL: Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be re-tied.
LISP: You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds...
FORTH: Foot in yourself shoot.
Prolog: You tell your program that you want to be shot in the foot. The program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't permit it to explain it to you.
Ruby: Shoot yourself in the foot, but pull the trigger too hard and the gun turns into a rubber duck.
BASIC: Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On large systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.
Visual Basic: You'll really only appear to have shot yourself in the foot, but you'll have had so much fun doing it that you won't care.
HyperTalk: Put the first bullet of gun into foot left of leg of you. Answer the result.
Motif: You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the bullet, its trajectory, and the intricate scrollwork onthe ivory handles of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.
Python: You get out your 12-gage and prepare to shoot yourself in the foot, but when you do, it complains because your foot doesn’t look pretty enough.
APL: You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters.
SNOBOL: If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail, shoot yourself in the right foot.
Unix:% ls foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o % rm * .o rm:.o no such file or directory % ls %
Concurrent Euclid: You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot.
370 JCL: You send your foot down to MIS and include a 400-page document explaining exactly how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your foot comes back deep-fried.
Paradox: Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can, too.
Access: You try to point the gun at your foot, but it shoots holes in all your Borland distribution diskettes instead.
Revelation: You're sure you're going to be able to shoot yourself in the foot, just as soon as you figure out what all these nifty little bullet-thingies are for.
Assembler: You try to shoot yourself in the foot, only to discover you must first invent the gun, the bullet, the trigger, and your foot.
Modula2: After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.
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