Nice idea, but a lot of those are fairly naive tbh

1 is often countered with (if you are actually the warm up) "there's no one here yet so it won't matter if you play it"

2 usually gets "play it again then!"

3 can work (I also sometimes resort to "they'd play that in the other room") but

4 rarely works, they pipe up with "I'm the customer" or bollocks to that effect

5, along with just saying you haven't got it, usually results in "what have you got?" or "can I look through your collection?"

6 is definitely the most effective, until they start telling you that you have to play it next for some far fetched reason, or keep asking "how soon?", then they'll either get angry if you say too long, or come back a few tracks later and complain that you haven't played it

7 rarely results in them actually paying you, unfortunately and usually means you have to follow it up with another excuse

8 can be dangerous if you've only got 20 seconds left of the current track

9 is often a cue for them to get out their phone and write you a little message

10 only works if they've heard of Steve Angello... in fact the punters at most clubs probably wouldn't be stopped from trying to get their request played if you managed to persuade them you were the f***ing Pope.

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Stu Cox |