quote:

Originally posted by FunkyCrew wtf was he smocking?

he could have been smocking the house in advance of a pesticide treatment... or smocking the walls for a more accurate paint job

quote:

Originally posted by Swamper Woods was ze hammered.

Yep, he was pretty clearly liquored up

He drives a caddy? Pffft whimp.

I blame his caddy.


At 2:25am he leaves his driveway and hits a firehydrant and tree at the end of it, and got facial lacerations.


So from what I read... He left the 19th hole, and did a short drive and goes out of bounds hit finally hit a natural hazard with a bad slice.






Mulligan!

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Short time TA, Long time Guver, Good time giver.

quote:

Originally posted by E2EK1EL "The Florida Highway Patrol also reports that alcohol is not related to the accident."

The Florida Highway Patrol further reports that Tiger Woods did not drink 12 beers, that those bottles could have been anyone's, that beer doesn't even come in bottles, and that there is probably no such thing as beer anyway, and that Woods was definitely not on his way to a booty call after a violent argument with his wife that ended up with him breaking a bottle on the counter and waving it around threateningly before dropping it and stumbling out the front door.

"These allegations are absolutely ridiculous," said Woods. "I hit the fire hydrant because I was tired and I hit the tree because I was pissed off. Being shitfaced had nothing to do with it. Wait, what I meant was, I didn't hit the tree just because I was drunk. I mean I wasn't drunk. And I didn't hit any tree. He doesn't even have a tree. And I don't have a car. I'm not answering any more questions for you lying liars, you're all trying to trick me."

More on this story at 6.

___________________
My party schedule:
2009-02-21 - DJ Attention @ I'm So Popular
2009-06-18 - DJ Annoying @ People Need To Know Where I'll Be
2012-11-32 - DJ Insufferable ɸ Or At Least the Stalkers I Complain About
2048-06-66 - Spastic & Whocares ¶ Although I'm Actually Flattered
9999-45-81 - Tweaker Gimp ☼ I Probably Won't Even Go To This But I Have To Make Sure I Fill Up All The Available Space Here

MY BUICK DROVE INTO A FUCKING TREE GODDAMNIT GM FUCK YOU GO BANKRUPT

___________________
"The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought." — Sir Thomas Beecham

dying a bit here

literally




holy fuck



















the tears

right click save as

'Bout time he hit something in his career.

Heeeeyyoooooooo!

quote:

Originally posted by The Ear

Where's the gif that cuts to a golf ball going in someones anus? lol
so funny.

edit...ha! fuck...on second look, that's it. It must have not loaded at first glance.

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nightdreamer

TMZ reports:

Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren -- according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident. Tiger has yet to be formally interviewed by the Florida Highway Patrol -- that should happen this afternoon. But we're told Tiger had a conversation Friday -- with a non-law enforcement type -- detailing what went down before his Escalade hit a fire hydrant. We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club. We're told Woods became "distracted," thought the vehicle was stopped, and looked to see what had happened. At that point the SUV hit the fire hydrant and then hit a tree. We're also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.