quote:

Originally posted by kadomony Philadelphia city workers are mind-bogglingly inept.

Philadelphia Parking Authority needs to be fucking shot in a broad day light, right on Broad Street, so that their blood spray pattern could cover the City Hall walls. Most fucked up racket in a fucking city.

How you like that shit - they installed new parking payment machines like in NYC. You insert money, press green button number of "parking units" you need (using some confusing formula) and then it spits out a ticket you place on your dash. Well, I insert $5.00 and while I was trying to figure out how much time I was going to need the machine timed out (it was less than a minute too).... and KEPT THE FUCKING $5 without printing shit or refunding my money!!! There's not even a phone number to call in case of a problem. A fucking soda machine has it... a PPA meter - does not! WTF?

And then these fucking douchebags whine "Oh, business is running away from the city. People don't go out to the city anymore. We're hurting for revenue, so we'll start closing libraries, laying off cops, and reduce trash pickup days." On top of it they hiked sales tax to 8%, while suburbs only 20 short minutes away from just about anywhere in the city charge...6%. Fucking BRILLIANT PLAN! Even before tax hike went into effect, most city residents did their shopping in suburbs. What do you see shortly thereafter? That's right... businesses trickling out of the city in to the suburbs. FUCKING GENIOUS, MR. MAYOR!

Hey, here's my observation and a little plan, Mr. Mayor, on how to save some money for your city:

1. When you drag me through your inept court system, instead of having Tyrone the balif sign me in, LahWanda the court assistant squigle my case number on the paperwork and Officer Patrick O'Mulligan hand it to the judge... Tran Mr. O'Mulligan to do ALL THE SQUIGLING. I'm sure that if he can figure out how to write a fucking ticket, he can sign me in AND hand you the paperwork. That's 2 jobs - POOF, off the city payroll.

2. After your judge violates my constitutional rights to cross-examine police officer, because police officers are not required to be at the hearing, and issues his city-favorable ruling for me to pay whatever fine your mob set that week, instead of having Tyrone show me where the payment window is... Paint some arrows on the floor pointing as such: "Fucked" - leads to the payment window, "We done fucked up" leads to the courtroom exit, and "Really Fucked" leads to the courtroom holding cell. It will be honest, quick and very efficient. Again, reducing the need to strain an already over-burdened city budget.

3. After Tyrone escorts me to the payment window, instead of having LaKeisha sort all paperwork and then hand it to Mary Whitetrashski for processing, invest into a... STAPLER. That's right. I'm sure if Mr. O'Mulligan can figure out his Glock, he can figure out a Swingline. Reducing the need to keep either Mary or LaKeisha, who's job security should be strictly dependent on being more adapt at making my Traffic Court experience as miserable as possible.... and knowing how to operate a calculator-like data entry system for the courtroom. This requires being able with her very nice and ergonomic mouse to click on a "Payment type" buttons plastered on her very nice LCD screen, attached to a rather nice computer - which acts as a dumb terminal (all partially paid for with those dollars you're so good at extracting out of me).

4. Lastly... Once either LaKeisha or Mrs. Whitetrashski are done fucking me over (not in a pleasant sort of way)... it would be very nice NOT to hear "Thank you for your business, please come again" - even as a joke. FUCK YOU, HONEY. YOU'RE A CUNT AND YOU'RE NOT FUNNY.

Hey, better yet - just let me pay online or fuck... install one of those Parking Machines like contraptions in your courtroom. I'm sure if you can figure out how to print a ticket, you can figure out how to barcode read that ticket and let me slide my credit card to pay for it.

Mr. Mayor, I would love to share my other ideas on how to improve your City's efficiency. I just saved you no less than $500,000/year by getting rid of those 3 parasites above. Let me show you how executing the Parking Authority can save you even more, not just in payroll savings but also in energy savings - when you use the bodies of freshly executed PPA workers to heat the city hall.

EVERYBODY WINS!

I await your reply, Mr. Mayor.

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Last edited by aNYthing on Dec-05-2009 at 19:02