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| quote: | Originally posted by Enigmatik
After you spend a long time with someone you start getting very comfortable with them, and you start to take a lot of the things that they do for granted. It's probably not that she's become less attractive, or that your tastes have changed.. but that she's become more "normal" to you.. and that the exciting novelty of the relationship has worn off... Try thinking back to when you were first going out, to all the amazing things she did that you hadn't expected. Try to remember the things you found most endearing about her, and focus on them when you're together. When you say "I love you", keep it from being a reflex said out of habit. After you pronounce the words, stop a minute, and really think hard on what they mean.
Try changing your schedule.. If you normally do a specific thing with her, try changing the location, or the activity, or the order in which you do an activity. Go out to eat at different places, go on a picnic, play a game neither of you has touched in a while.. Try doing random things with her out of the blue. Add variation to your intimate life.
If you have good communication in your relationship, it's absolutely best to talk about it. She might feel hurt at first, but you should be able to explain that it's not "her fault", and that you want to work on not taking things you do together for granted.. Stress that you really care about her, and that you want to stay together. She might be feeling the same way you do, but be too hesitant to talk about it, and you don't want to let that distance drive you apart. Regardless, hopefully she'll understand and she can help you break out of your feelings of bored complacience.
Don't stop spending time with her unless you're fairly sure that you don't want a relationship anymore. Taking breaks from being together rarely works.
Best of luck. |
Serious posts in the COR.
Some days, I just don't know what kind of place this is becoming 
(it's a very good post, by the way, I'm just having a laugh )
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