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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > Losing interest in your partner: When it happens, What to do!
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Energy_3
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: May 2008
Location: Adelaide - Earth

Some good points. the prob is i have always been a bit of player, well like to have a variety and thats the problem. So much out there!

it really is a concern for appreciation with boredom.

And, being stuck in the same rut of life day in day out, routine etc.


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Old Post Jan-22-2010 07:14  Australia
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SuspicionVandit
Rapper



Registered: Nov 2005
Location: 127.0.0.1

tell her the next doggy style involve a real dog


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SuspicionVandit: Are you God?
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Old Post Jan-22-2010 07:58 
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Intellekshual
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Dec 2011
Location: Oubliette

After you spend a long time with someone you start getting very comfortable with them, and you start to take a lot of the things that they do for granted. It's probably not that she's become less attractive, or that your tastes have changed.. but that she's become more "normal" to you.. and that the exciting novelty of the relationship has worn off... Try thinking back to when you were first going out, to all the amazing things she did that you hadn't expected. Try to remember the things you found most endearing about her, and focus on them when you're together. When you say "I love you", keep it from being a reflex said out of habit. After you pronounce the words, stop a minute, and really think hard on what they mean.

Try changing your schedule.. If you normally do a specific thing with her, try changing the location, or the activity, or the order in which you do an activity. Go out to eat at different places, go on a picnic, play a game neither of you has touched in a while.. Try doing random things with her out of the blue. Add variation to your intimate life.

If you have good communication in your relationship, it's absolutely best to talk about it. She might feel hurt at first, but you should be able to explain that it's not "her fault", and that you want to work on not taking things you do together for granted.. Stress that you really care about her, and that you want to stay together. She might be feeling the same way you do, but be too hesitant to talk about it, and you don't want to let that distance drive you apart. Regardless, hopefully she'll understand and she can help you break out of your feelings of bored complacence.

Don't stop spending time with her unless you're fairly sure that you don't want a relationship anymore. Taking breaks from being together rarely works.

Best of luck.


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The only hard feelings should be in your pants

Last edited by on Jan-22-2010 at 08:26

Old Post Jan-22-2010 08:03  United States
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Sushipunk
Flickering, I roam



Registered: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Verdafloor

quote:
Originally posted by Enigmatik
After you spend a long time with someone you start getting very comfortable with them, and you start to take a lot of the things that they do for granted. It's probably not that she's become less attractive, or that your tastes have changed.. but that she's become more "normal" to you.. and that the exciting novelty of the relationship has worn off... Try thinking back to when you were first going out, to all the amazing things she did that you hadn't expected. Try to remember the things you found most endearing about her, and focus on them when you're together. When you say "I love you", keep it from being a reflex said out of habit. After you pronounce the words, stop a minute, and really think hard on what they mean.

Try changing your schedule.. If you normally do a specific thing with her, try changing the location, or the activity, or the order in which you do an activity. Go out to eat at different places, go on a picnic, play a game neither of you has touched in a while.. Try doing random things with her out of the blue. Add variation to your intimate life.

If you have good communication in your relationship, it's absolutely best to talk about it. She might feel hurt at first, but you should be able to explain that it's not "her fault", and that you want to work on not taking things you do together for granted.. Stress that you really care about her, and that you want to stay together. She might be feeling the same way you do, but be too hesitant to talk about it, and you don't want to let that distance drive you apart. Regardless, hopefully she'll understand and she can help you break out of your feelings of bored complacience.

Don't stop spending time with her unless you're fairly sure that you don't want a relationship anymore. Taking breaks from being together rarely works.

Best of luck.


Serious posts in the COR.

Some days, I just don't know what kind of place this is becoming









(it's a very good post, by the way, I'm just having a laugh )


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Old Post Jan-22-2010 08:10  Australia
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Intellekshual
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Dec 2011
Location: Oubliette

quote:
Originally posted by Sushipunk
Serious posts in the COR.

Some days, I just don't know what kind of place this is becoming
(it's a very good post, by the way, I'm just having a laugh )

LOL I haven't been on the site in ages.. Give me a few days.


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The only hard feelings should be in your pants

Old Post Jan-22-2010 08:12  United States
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djhaziel
Snake Charmer



Registered: Jan 2007
Location: San Francisco

quote:
Originally posted by Enigmatik
After you spend a long time with someone you start getting very comfortable with them, and you start to take a lot of the things that they do for granted. It's probably not that she's become less attractive, or that your tastes have changed.. but that she's become more "normal" to you.. and that the exciting novelty of the relationship has worn off... Try thinking back to when you were first going out, to all the amazing things she did that you hadn't expected. Try to remember the things you found most endearing about her, and focus on them when you're together. When you say "I love you", keep it from being a reflex said out of habit. After you pronounce the words, stop a minute, and really think hard on what they mean.

Try changing your schedule.. If you normally do a specific thing with her, try changing the location, or the activity, or the order in which you do an activity. Go out to eat at different places, go on a picnic, play a game neither of you has touched in a while.. Try doing random things with her out of the blue. Add variation to your intimate life.

If you have good communication in your relationship, it's absolutely best to talk about it. She might feel hurt at first, but you should be able to explain that it's not "her fault", and that you want to work on not taking things you do together for granted.. Stress that you really care about her, and that you want to stay together. She might be feeling the same way you do, but be too hesitant to talk about it, and you don't want to let that distance drive you apart. Regardless, hopefully she'll understand and she can help you break out of your feelings of bored complacience.

Don't stop spending time with her unless you're fairly sure that you don't want a relationship anymore. Taking breaks from being together rarely works.

Best of luck.



great post , you must be doing pretty well




















(I mean with dat ass.... )


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Old Post Jan-22-2010 08:15  Peru
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Sushipunk
Flickering, I roam



Registered: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Verdafloor

quote:
Originally posted by Enigmatik
LOL I haven't been on the site in ages.. Give me a few days.


Yeah, where the hell have you been anyway?

Galavanting around Morocco or something?


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Old Post Jan-22-2010 08:25  Australia
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Intellekshual
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Dec 2011
Location: Oubliette

quote:
Originally posted by djhaziel
great post , you must be doing pretty well

(I mean with dat ass.... )


Who are you and how do you know anything about mon derriere??

quote:
Originally posted by Sushipunk
Yeah, where the hell have you been anyway?

Galavanting around Morocco or something?

Nothing nearly as exciting lol. Well not since Summer anyway.
Just busy with life really.. but I'm back now.


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The only hard feelings should be in your pants

Old Post Jan-22-2010 08:36  United States
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djhaziel
Snake Charmer



Registered: Jan 2007
Location: San Francisco

quote:
Originally posted by Enigmatik

Who are you and how do you know anything about mon derriere??



"Im just a regular guy that walks into a club and wants to hear a groove...."

and you posted a pic on the beach with a red and white bikini ,right ?? ass is faaaaine gurl


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Old Post Jan-22-2010 08:38  Peru
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Intellekshual
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Dec 2011
Location: Oubliette

quote:
Originally posted by djhaziel
"Im just a regular guy that walks into a club and wants to hear a groove...."

and you posted a pic on the beach with a red and white bikini ,right ?? ass is faaaaine gurl

Haha it all makes sense now. I had forgotten I posted that picture.
Thanks for ze compliment.


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The only hard feelings should be in your pants

Old Post Jan-22-2010 08:42  United States
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djhaziel
Snake Charmer



Registered: Jan 2007
Location: San Francisco

quote:
Originally posted by Enigmatik
Haha it all makes sense now. I had forgotten I posted that picture.
Thanks for ze compliment.


im sure a lot of us would appreciate it if you could refresh our memory


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Old Post Jan-22-2010 08:44  Peru
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Intellekshual
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Dec 2011
Location: Oubliette

quote:
Originally posted by djhaziel
im sure a lot of us would appreciate it if you could refresh our memory

My boyfriend wouldn't.


___________________
The only hard feelings should be in your pants

Old Post Jan-22-2010 08:56  United States
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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > Losing interest in your partner: When it happens, What to do!
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