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| quote: | Originally posted by JD8180
yes, and it sounded like a good idea. I went to the firm but they wouldn't let me in. I proceeded to drop my pants and start pissing on the glass door, staring dead into the receptionist's eyes while pointing at her. I spelled out "I am an alpha male" with my urine (I drank a gallon of water shortly before to make sure I had enough ammo) and zipped up and left. I really hope this works.
anyway, my manager spoke with me and told me she spoke with the manager at the firm this week and they said it's certain. unless this is a ridiculous joke, I think I'm good.
I couldn't really not tell my employer because the firm doesn't want to jeopardize the relationship with their client (my bank). so they didn't want to hire me unless they were sure that there would be no hard feelings. my manager, CFO, and the president always knew I would leave one day (I was just a peon in the accounting dept with and there was no room for moving up) and were always pretty supportive of that. my manager was the one that actually gave me the contact info for the manager at the firm, telling me that I could always try there if I wanted to look for an auditing firm. |
Oh, you'll sleep well, tonight. It's a lock. I wouldn't have tried that, but I think you sealed the deal. If you really want to be sure, follow the hiring manager home, tonight, and then to his favorite restaurant with his wife (or her husband), and then steal their car by raiding the valet's keybox and taking it to a somewhat remote location and abandoning it. Return with your car and offer assistance with a ride home, surreptitiously swinging by the place you left their car.
Make sure you damage the car with your car keys, before returning to the restaurant to pick up your boss. If the hiring manager has a wife, you should flirt with her while you change their punctured tire. If it's a woman, flirt with your hiring manager. If the spouse gets in the way, pull them to a discreet location, hit him in the gut really hard, and say, "Don't worry. When I'm done, she'll never want anyone else." See if you can't get her digits and arrange for a liaison, later on in the weekend. Make it fun and romantic.
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Now with extra singles!
my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012
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