I was once woken up when a great big photo I had hanging over my bed fell and smashed my face causing even more damage to the already fucked up features, needless to say i shall never hang a photo above my bed again

i got stung by a mosqito on meh ass while on the toilet b4, and that hurt like fuck as well
i think i might of shat on it

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Found Atlantis - Mixography [mix archive/mokumentary/my soul]?
i writed a song.

quote:

Originally posted by Coup hahaaha!!!! (laffing at az )

u little shit

Nope ... THIS is the worst way to get woken up ...

Let me set the scene by saying that my old flatmate Dave is totally notorious for sneaking off to bed early when the rest of us were staying up late having a few beers ... so one evening there we were sitting about in the lounge pissed as lords playing the playstation and it was like "where's Dave?" Sure enough the sly prick had drunk his fill and vanished into his room without saying good night. So my other mate Geoff who's a landscape gardener had a bright idea ... went out to the van and got his chainsaw, and he unscrewed it and took the chain off, so it would still go but there was no moving chain ... then we went and found him some black overalls, black gloves, and a black balaclava to wear ... we waited a few minutes until we were sure Dave was fast asleep and then snuck down the hallway, Geoff started the chainsaw in the hallway, kicked the door open, let out this blood curdling scream and went rushing into the room and leapt up onto the bed, revved up the chainsaw to full welly and brought it crashing down on Dave's legs

Holy shit that's the only time I have seen a human being no-kidding piss themselves with fright ...

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Kia's Sig-o-matic
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Insert your favourite jap car here
Insert partially dressed bimbo here
Select auto placement of your little Gatecrasher lion left/right/top/bottom
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List your 100 top DJs / producers / clubs here
Add URL for your latest dodgy fruity loops production here

quote:

Originally posted by Kia Kaha Nope ... THIS is the worst way to get woken up ... Let me set the scene by .........crashing down on Dave's legs Holy shit that's the only time I have seen a human being no-kidding piss themselves with fright ...

genius!!

Hahahaha, that is fuckin excellent. Id love to see that. Id probably piss myself too, with laughter.

Quality.

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Im here to tear down everything around you, and you know what i'm going to replace you with?...Something new...God...The world of God! So take your bread, and give it to the poor. What difference does it matter what you own? You have Gold and Silver, It's going to rot! And that rot is going to eat away your heart. All of you, there will be a flood and there will be a fire. Everything will be destroyed, but there will be a new arc, riding on that fire. And I hold the key, And I open the door and I decide who goes in, and who doesnt!

AHAHAHAHA

that was mint!

quote:

Originally posted by flystyler If i remember correctly, bee stings should be treated with vinegar to neutralise the sting, and wasps sting should be treated with bi carbonate of soda Worked for me

For some reason, my parents always used to say to use doc leaves ?

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"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

quote:

Originally posted by WillEastbury For some reason, my parents always used to say to use doc leaves ?

thats for nettle stings fool

quote:

Originally posted by Az thats for nettle stings fool

Good Point .

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"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."

Ralph Waldo Emerson